Let Freedom Ring

July 4th is the perfect day to celebrate our freedom.  All over this great nation of ours, families and friends are gathering to celebrate the freedom that has been afforded to us by the brave men and women who came before us.  People from every walk of life gather today and enjoy being able to share their lives with each other and to share their truth.  When we think about freedom, we think about being free from tyranny and strife.  We think about being free to say what is on our minds and to worship in the way we choose. However, there is a different type of freedom that we all too often forget and one that is not as evident in our lives as it really should be.  That is the freedom to live our lives in the absence of judgment.  When we live our lives with an air of judgment, we cannot fully enjoy all the other freedoms that we have in this life.  When we live our lives without acceptance of others and ourselves, we truly cannot be free.  

July 4th has always been a big holiday for my family.  For years, we would gather at my grandparent’s lake house and celebrate the holiday by swimming, skiing, canoeing, and eating BBQ.  Each year, as July 4th approaches, I am reminded of my grandma.  I am reminded of the work she put into each holiday and how, at times, close to 75 people ascended on her and the hospitality she showed to all of those people over all of those years. 

Thinking about my grandma is something I do every single day, but in the past few days, I have felt her presence so strongly that, at times, I actively look for her.  Her presence is so strong that I think that I can surely see her.  Every time I think of my grandma, different memories emerge and different stories are told, but the story that has been ever present in my mind over these last few weeks is one that I am not sure my grandma told many people.  She told the story to me over and over again, and it was not until after she was gone that the significance of that story began to take hold of my spirit.  

My grandma was raised in a very strict, religious home.  She was born into a family that believed that Christians should follow certain rules.  Her family believed that women should not cut their hair, wear make-up, or wear pants or short-sleeved shirts.  From the time my grandma was old enough to form an opinion, she fought against these rules.  These rules were important to the people whom my grandma loved, but for her they did not seem necessary.  I guess one could say that my grandma was a rebel.  I laugh to myself when I think about my grandma being a rebel, but as I think about it further, I realize that she actually was.  

All of you have come to know my grandma through the many stories and miracles that I have shared on this blog, but one thing I want to make clear is that my grandma did not live a perfect life.  She was flawed, and she made choices that were wrong for her and hurt others as well as herself.  She, like all of us, had to find her own path in life, and many times she found herself looking in the wrong places, and she found herself in situations that were less than desirable.  I do not tell you this to place a stain on my grandma’s memory or to discredit all that God did for her. I tell you this to show you that despite our faults and bad decisions, freedom and acceptance can be found.  

By the early 1960s, my grandma was on her third marriage.  She was married to the man that she had fallen in love with as a young girl, but through the course of time, had been separated from.  My grandma marrying my grandpa Norman was a miracle, one that she told over and over again, but to many people, including some in her family, my grandma was living in sin.  She and Norman were married, but to them, because she was divorced, she was, well frankly, going to hell.  

My grandma spent many years avoiding church.  She believed that most churches would not accept her so she avoided the whole thing.  However, she thought it was important to send her girls to church.  My aunt and mom went to church each Sunday, but my grandma stayed home.  My aunt and mom begged my grandma to go to church with them, and finally she relented and went.  She said the first service she attended was nice and she enjoyed it a lot, so she decided that she would go back the next Sunday.  This time, when the preacher stood to give his sermon, something very different happened.  As my grandma was sitting there listening to the preacher talk, he suddenly stopped and pointed at her and said, “If you want to be a part of this church, you need to go home, pack your bags, and leave that man you are living with and then come back here and throw yourself on the alter and then we might let you be a part of our church.”  As you can imagine my grandma was mortified.  She was hurt, she was embarrassed, and she vowed that day to never go back to church.  

When she relayed the story to some members of her family, they agreed with the preacher and, in fact, one said, “Ruth, I wouldn’t give you a nickel for your soul.”  This further intensified my grandma’s disdain for church.  Every time my grandma told me this story, she would say, “People thought I was going to hell for loving Norman.  I could never understand that.  I had no choice but to love him.  I was married to him and if loving him meant I was going to hell, well, I guess I was going to hell.”  My grandma had no choice.  She had to live her life with Norman.  She loved him, and she was going to continue loving him and being married to him despite what her family or a church thought. 

As many of you know, my grandma did eventually return to church. She found a church that accepted her for whom she was.  She told me when she realized that she could have a relationship with God in spite of all she had done in her life and whom she loved, she felt a renewed sense of freedom, and she was never again chained by the lies of unworthiness.  

Fast forward nearly forty years later when a young man was sitting at my grandma’s table filled with fear and doubt because he had to share his truth with his favorite person on this planet.  He was scared that she would not love him anymore, he was afraid that she would reject him, and he was afraid that she would be disappointed in him.  As I sat there at that table and the words, “Grandma, I am gay” came out of my mouth, I wanted to stuff them back in, but it was too late.  They had been spoken, and there was no going back.  My grandma sat there for a minute and then smiled through her tears and said, “You know, grandma was raised to believe that being gay was wrong.  However, I do not have all the answers.  I do not know what God really thinks, but I will tell you this, I may not understand how you have to live your life, but I know that I love you and grandma will never turn her back on you.  No matter what you do in life, I will always accept you and I will always love you.  I will not turn my back on you and neither will God.”  And with those words, my grandma and I began a new journey together, one that was laced with truth and one that was full of acceptance and ferocious protection.  

That relationship continued until the day she drew her last breath and that scared young man who thought his grandma would reject him when she heard his truth was the only person on this planet who was holding her hand and was in her presence when God came to take her to heaven because, you see, I could not turn my back on her.  Talk about a miracle!  

I am not certain that my grandma ever drew the comparison between our two lives.  I honestly do not think I did until after she was in heaven.  We both were judged and rejected because of whom we loved.  We both knew what it felt like not to belong because of whom we were and that bond is one of the reasons why we were so close.  I was talking about all of this to Jeff the other day and then I started thinking about my grandma’s funeral and began to laugh.  My grandma’s funeral was attended by people from every walk of life.  I mean every walk of life.  Every different type of life was represented in that audience.  When I realized that, I said, “Only my grandma!”  

You see, she touched every person she met.  She showed love and acceptance to every person she encountered, even when she did not understand his life or even agree with it.  She knew what it felt like to be rejected, and she never wanted to make someone feel that rejection.  That Sunday morning in the 1960s did more for my grandma than I think she really knew.  That embarrassment and rejection helped her become a less judgmental and more accepting person.  Without that one day in her life, all of the stories I tell could have been much different.  So you see, my grandma was right, God can make good come out of every bad situation we face.  Nothing new is born without pain, and a new life was born in that church for my grandma.  Yes, it caused her pain in the moment, but the new understanding that was born that day produced the fruits of love and acceptance that are still being felt two years after she left this earth.  

So the next time you are tempted to stand in judgment of someone or to reject them because you to not understand the way they live or because you do not agree with their choices, I want you to stop and think about a time in your life when you were rejected or cast out and remember how that made you feel and then do what my grandma always said we should do, “Show love”.  When we can all show more love and acceptance and less judgment, we will all be freer to live our lives.  There will be more freedom in our hearts and it will grow, and there will be more freedom in the hearts and minds of everyone we come into contact with.  So, let freedom ring and let peace envelop this nation and this world, because as we all know, PEACE MATTERS! 

~Dan~

The Miracle Dog

For a little over two years I have been posting on this blog.  It all started on June 18, 2015 with my first post.  My goal for this blog was to try to bring more peace to the lives of others and to myself.  I have written a lot about the events of my life, both past and present.  I have written about lessons I have learned and have expressed my opinions on many topics.  To me, social media is a platform that we all have access to.  It is a platform that we go to daily to share our lives with others.  It is up to each of us to decide what type of platform we want to have.  Do we want our platform to be uplifting and inspirational, or do we want our platform to focus on the negative things in life?  

All of our lives are colored by positive and negative emotions.  We experience these emotions daily.  Many times we focus on the negative so much that we do not see the positive.  Other times we focus on the positive so much that it drowns out the negative.  I do my best to see the positive side of life, but I fail every single day.  I hate that I fail, but I know that with each new day, I have another opportunity to focus on the positive.  In my quest to always see the positive side of life, I often avoid sharing my struggles with others.  My grandma always taught me that the struggles and valleys in life are meant to serve as a testimony to others who may experience similar situations.  I tell myself that, and I give others that advice, but I often do not follow my own advice.  

The valleys in life truly are what make the mountaintops in life even greater.  It is the quest to reach the mountaintop that makes us stronger people who have more faith and trust in God.  It is like my grandma always said, “We grow in the valley.”  I hear her voice telling me that, but I often choose not to heed her reminder.  If we did not experience the valleys, we would not be able to look down on them from the mountaintop and see the growth that we achieved while struggling in the valley.  The valleys truly make the views from the mountaintops all the sweeter.  

I said all of that as an introduction to the story I am about to tell you of walking through the valley and reaching the mountaintop.  My valley started six months ago on January 31, 2017, when Jeff and I were told that our little boy, Peyton, had liver cancer.  As you can imagine, Jeff and I were devastated.  We had lost our little girl, Parker, almost two years earlier to cancer when she was eight, and we could not believe that we were facing this again.  Now I know that many people would say that Parker, Peyton, and Paycee are just dogs, but to us, they are our kids.  They are what make our little family complete.  They give unconditional love, and they never ask for anything in return.  So to think that we were going to lose another one at such a young age from the same dreaded disease was almost too much to bear.  

We reached out to family and friends and gave them the news about Peyton.  We asked them to pray.  The following day, the doctor wanted to do one more test to make certain that her diagnoses of liver cancer was correct.  Thankfully, the test showed that there was no cancer, but it indicated that Peyton’s liver was not functioning properly.  The doctor told us that she would start him on medication, but she did not give us a lot of hope.  She said that some dogs respond well and others do not.  A month or so later, Peyton returned to the doctor for more blood work.  The blood work showed that Peyton’s liver was improving, but his kidneys were also beginning to fail.  Once again, she said she could give us medication for the kidneys, but that in her experience when a dog had two organs that were failing it was the beginning of the end.  She told us that we should begin preparing to let Peyton go.  We started Peyton on the medication that day and brought him home knowing that the journey we began walking that day would result in Peyton’s final journey to heaven.  

Around this time, I was reminded that each day truly is a gift.  Of course, this was something that I knew, but we tend to take this for granted when things are going well and everyone is healthy.  I felt very strongly that I should start thanking God every night when I went to bed for giving us another day with Peyton.  I have continued this prayer for six months now and truly have been thankful for each additional day we have been given.  Jeff and I set a goal for Peyton to make it to his 10th birthday, which was May 13th.  We were doubtful that he would make it, but we felt it was important to have a goal.  On May 13, 2017, we celebrated Peyton’s 10th birthday, and we were so thrilled that he was with us, but we firmly believed that it would be his last.  In fact, I told my mom that I didn’t expect him to live through the summer.  

Then on July 31st, exactly six months after his original diagnosis, Peyton returned to the vet for more blood work.  To be honest with you, I was filled with dread and very unsure of what we would be told.  We had been given so much bad news about Peyton that I was prepared for anything.  However, when his blood work came back, the doctor told us that everything was completely normal!  His liver function was back to normal and so was his kidney function!  His levels were so normal that the doctor decided to reduce his medication.  The doctor truly was shocked.  She said that 99.9% of the time when a dog has two major organs failing she has to keep increasing the medicine to help them function normally and have a good quality of life.  She truly could not explain the change, and she called Peyton a “Miracle dog”, something Jeff and I had always known about him.  

Peyton and Parker

So today I am filled with such gratefulness for Peyton and this miracle that God has given us.  Peyton has been a miracle since the day he was born, and I know that he will continue to be a miracle as long as he is with us.  Through it all, Peyton has been happy and pleasant.  He faces each day with joy in his heart and greets the day with excitement and vigor, and I am thankful to know that he will continue to bring joy to our lives for a little longer.  

Peyton and Paycee

I am so thankful to have been witness to this miracle and feel so blessed to get to share it with all of you.  I always say that miracles happen everyday, but honestly there were days that I doubted that, but once again, God has proven to us that miracles come in all shapes and sizes and just when we are ready to give up, he moves in a miraculous way.  Believing in miracles leads to peace and PEACE MATTERS!  

~Dan~  

When Grandma is Gone

The following is a poem about my grandma that I recently wrote.  I was getting ready for school and thinking about my grandma and wondering what she would say to me as the anniversary of her death approached.  When I arrived at school that morning, I sat down and wrote this.  I hope you enjoy it.

When Grandma is Gone

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

I want you to remember all the good times that we had.

I want you to remember the laughter and fun.

I want you to remember how my story begun.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

I want you to remember all the good times that we had.

I want you to remember the times at the lake.

I want you to remember the cakes that I baked.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

I want you to remember all the good times that we had.

I want you to remember the stories I told.

I want you to remember how they never grew old.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

I want you to remember all the good times that we had.

I want you to walk on with joy in your heart.

I want you to remember that we never will part.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

I want you to remember all the good times that we had.

I want you to trust in God’s perfect plan.

I want you to be a good and loving man.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

I want you to remember all the good times that we had.

I want you to remember that love saw me through.

I want you to remember how my laughter chased away the blues.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

I want you to remember all the good times that we had.

I want you to know that I am never really gone.

I live in your heart, in your smile, and your song.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

I want you to remember all the good times that we had.

I want you to know that one day I will look in the distance,

I will begin to run as fast as the wind, because I will know it is you in that very instant.

I will welcome you home and shower you with kisses,

And you will never remember all of the great misses.

When Grandma is gone, I don’t want you to be sad.

When I think about my grandma and I remember all the stories she told me and all the lessons I learned from her, my heart is filled with peace and PEACE MATTERS!  

~Dan~

This is Her Story

The following is the forward of the book that I am writing about my grandma's life which is called This is Her Story.  I hope that you will enjoy it and it will cause you to want to read more when the time comes.  

Forward

Time…where does is come from?  Where does it go?  As I was standing in the wet spring grass that had been coated with rain, I pondered this question.  Time has always been something that we mark.  There are millions of ways that we do it.  We do it through celebrations, we do it through births, and we do it through deaths.  As I stood and thought about this more, I began surveying my surroundings and could see the passing of time on all the faces that surrounded me.  I could see the passing of time on my own face, and I could feel it in my heart.  I could see it on the tombstones that encircled the group of people that had gathered to say their final goodbyes to a woman who had meant so much to all of us.  As I stood there and looked at the steel gray-blue coffin that had been draped with snow-white flowers, I could hear my grandma’s voice.  I could hear her say, “Life is a vapor.  It is over in a blink of an eye.”  I could hear her say, “Christmas is just around the corner.” I could hear her say, “God can make a way where there seems to be no way.” And I could hear her say, “I will never turn my back on you.”  It seemed to me in that moment all the important things that I found myself saying were things that she had once said to me.  

I wanted to cry out, “I’m not ready yet!”  I wanted to break down and weep for all that I had lost.  I wanted to beg God to give me one more day, but I had learned through her that “God’s timing is perfect” so I knew that my job was to accept things for what they were.  After all, we were not gathered in that cemetery because of a tragic event.  Her passing did not shock me; in fact, I had been preparing myself for it for years.  I always knew this day would come, and I played it out in my mind a thousand different ways.  I imagined how I would feel, I imagined what I would say, and I imagined when it would happen.  Of course, like so many things in life, there are always surprises.  Most things about my grandma’s life surprised me.  That was just how she was.  She did not live a typical life, but she certainly did live.  She left an indelible mark on this world.  She changed countless lives, and she truly made the world a better place.  Did she do something amazing, like find a cure for cancer? No.  Did she have millions of people fawning at her feet? No.  Did she have a career that changed the face of the earth? No.  My grandma’s sole contribution to this world was very simple, but it was very great.  She changed the world and the lives of untold people through a simple act.  She did that through love.  Everything she did in life was guided by love.  Did she start out knowing that this would be her enduring contribution to the world?  Of course not.  She struggled to understand life.  She endured pain and sorrow.  She lost her way a few times.  Like the rest of us, she made some bad choices along the way, but in the end it all made sense to her, and she was able to be thankful for every step of her journey.   

My grandma spent her entire life telling her story and the stories of everyone she knew.  It was her quest in life to make sure that all of the amazing events that she had witnessed in her life would continue to be told long after she was no longer here to tell them.  She understood that it was her calling in life.  I truly believe that somewhere deep down, she knew that these stories had to be preserved for future generations.  She wanted to know that these stories would strengthen the faith of people who were yet to be born.  She wanted to know that every joy she experienced and every struggle she endured could one day be used as a catalyst for someone else to see the beauty and miracles that life holds for all of us.  Many times she used me as her sounding board, and I let every single word and every single story seep into the deepest parts of my soul.  It was as if I somehow knew that I needed to remember the stories as well.  We all have stories to tell, and all of our lives have great meaning.  The lessons that we learn as we walk this earth can be a testament to the enduring power of faith, hope and love.  However, this is not your story, and this is not my story. This is Her Story!  

I hope you enjoyed this small section of the book.  I feel very thankful to get to share it with all of you.  When I think about the future and being able to share my grandma's story with people, I am filled with such peace and PEACE MATTERS!  

~Dan~

LIfe Lessons I Learned From My Grandma: That the Generations to Come Might Know

On May 22, 2016 at 2:45 a.m. I was sitting next to my grandma’s bed holding her hand when God entered the room and called her home.  This event was truly one of the most precious gifts that I have ever received and one that I will carry with me all the days of my life.  This one short moment in time signified the end of an earthly relationship that had meant so much to me, but it also signified the beginning of a heavenly relationship that will comfort, encourage, and strengthen me in the days, weeks, months, and years that will follow.  My grandma left this world in the same way she lived her life.  She left this world with quiet and unwavering faith dipped in love and compassion for her fellowman.  Everyone who knew my grandma knew that she lived her life this way, but upon her earthly death, this point has been proven over and over again. 

As you all know, my grandma and I were very close.  We were two peas in a pod.  Our souls connected on a very deep level that most people were able to recognize.  We looked at life in a very similar way.  It is true that we lived very different lives in different times in history, but our souls collided with each other, and they will forever be linked and will never be parted by time or even death.  I have heard people say that the first year after someone dies is the hardest.  It has been called “The year of firsts.” There is that first day, that first birthday, that first holiday, and it ends with the first anniversary of the person’s departure.  I have experienced the year of firsts, and there have been many days when I missed my grandma’s earthly presence.  There have been times when I have gone to the phone to call her.  There have been times when I have thought for a moment, “I need to check on grandma.”  There have been times when I was struggling and my first thought was to call her because I knew she would make me feel better.  She always had a way of making everything seem better, and I have longed for that comfort and release only to be quickly reminded that she is no longer here.  It has been an adjustment to get used to the new life that I now lead, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that my grandma is still with me.  She has made her presence known, and I have felt her next to me almost every single day since she has gone to heaven. 

She comes to me like waves upon the shore, soft and steady at first and then suddenly she crashes upon the shore and I feel her so intensely that, at times, I can hear her voice or feel her touch.  There are times when I truly do catch a glimpse of her.  I know that may sound strange, but she always told me that she would come back to visit me after she went to heaven, and I know that she has and will continue to fulfill her promise.  She always told me that she would never turn her back on me, and I know that now that she is in heaven she continues to be a part of my life.  It is just in a different way now.  It is a way that actually is more powerful than it was before.  I know that she is in heaven working for my good and the good of all the people that she loved here on this earth.  That is the thing about my grandma; she loved deep and wide.  So many people were touched by her love and countless peoples’ lives were made better because of her presence.  Showing love was one of her callings, and she had the ability to make everyone feel loved and important.  She was not ashamed of showing love to people and truly went out of her way to do so.  If I could emulate my grandma’s life, I would hope that I could love half as much as she did, and I hope that I can inspire others to show more love.  If I could do that, I would deem my life a success.   

My grandma spent her life telling her story.  The stories that she told encouraged people and gave them hope.  Nothing pleased my grandma more than being able to share her story with others.  She relished in the joy that came when she shared her story with someone new, and she loved to tell the stories over and over again.  They never grew old to her, and she gave God all the credit for the many blessings and miracles that she received in her life.  She knew that she was unworthy, and she never stopped praising God for all that He had done for her.  

My grandma left me with so many gifts.  These are not tangible gifts that will wear out with time.  They are gifts that will only grow and strengthen with the passing of time.  They grow every time I tell one of her stories.  They grow every time I remember a lesson that she taught me, and they grow every time I remember something funny that she did or said.  That is something that some people do not realize about my grandma.  She was blessed with a sense of humor like no one I have ever known.  In fact, someone once asked me what I miss the most about my grandma and I quickly replied, “The laughter.” She made everyone laugh.  She made herself laugh, and she had the most infectious smile that truly did light up a room.  I hope that I have inherited my grandma’s sense of humor because I saw how it sustained her through the trials of her life.  It served her well.  She was able to laugh at life, and she encouraged others to do the same.  That is a gift that she gave to so many.  

Something else that most people do not know about my grandma is that she had a passion for writing.  She filled hundreds of notebooks with her writing.  Many times she recorded the stories that she told people, sometimes she copied Bible verses, and other times she wrote about her life and the lives of the people that she loved.  She told me once that she had to write.  She never understood why she had the passion to write, but she knew that it was important.  She even wrote a short book about her mother’s life entitled Miracles From God For Mom.  She was so proud of this little book and passed it out to everyone she knew.  She wanted so badly for people to know about the miracles that God had performed for her mother, and she truly believed that they would strengthen peoples’ lives and help them have more faith. 

My grandma did not have much formal education.  In fact, she left school when she was in the sixth grade.  She always felt like her lack of education limited her abilities, but, through a lot of coaxing from God, she forced herself to write and to try to put her words on paper.  Even though my grandma lacked a formal education, she was one of the smartest people I have ever known.  She had incredible wisdom and had a knack of knowing what to say and how to treat people.  That is something that can never be obtained from a degree.  My grandma knew that God wanted her to write a book about her mother’s life, but she argued with Him and tried to get Him to ask someone else to write it, but God was persistent.  Then one day she gave in and decided that she would do what God was asking.  Here is a small excerpt from her book explaining that day:

"One day I saw the Bible lying on the table.  I walked over, picked it up, and it opened to Psalms.  My eyes fell upon the 78th chapter.  I began to read.  The more I read, the more I cried and began to give God praise.  Psalms 78 and the first seven verses were my answer.  God really wanted Mom’s miracles put on paper.  The sixth and seventh verses are very dear to me.  They read, 'That the generations to come might know them even the children which should be born who should arise and declare them to their children.  That they might set their hope in God and not forget the works of God.  But keep His commandments.'  This let me know that the Lord didn’t want this written just for me or even for my children, but He wanted this written for the generations to come."

My grandma wrote the above words on January 22, 1978, nearly forty years ago.  She had a sense, even then, that the stories that she had been told and witnessed would remain relevant, and she knew that they would inspire people for generations to come.  Now, the stories of her life are touching people.  I have been hundreds of miles away from the place that my grandma spent the 90 years of her life and complete strangers will come up to me and say, “I love your grandma” or “The stories you tell about your grandma really speak to me.”  When this occurs, I am filled with such joy and pride that I was blessed enough to know such an amazing women who had a story to tell that would change the lives of so many.  

In many ways, I feel that one of my callings in life is to make sure that my grandma’s stories and the stories of her mother continue to live on.  I truly believe that is the way God intended it, and He chose me to be the keeper of the stories.  I have been able to share so many of them with all of you. However, like so many great stories, there is so much more to be told.  So after a lot of prayer and prodding from God and the people in my life, I have decided to write my grandma’s story.  The title of her book is called This is Her Story.  I am not certain what the future of this book will be and how long it will take me to complete it, but I know that God can take a simple little story about a woman who lived her life in a small town in Southern Illinois and make it spread like wildfire.  After all, it was my grandma who told me that all things are possible when we put our trust in God and that even when we think things are impossible, He can make them possible.  I am so excited about being able to tell my grandma’s story and truly feel honored to be chosen to do it.  The blessings I receive from telling her stories are worth more than any earthly possession, and I know that I am to tell her stories so that the generations to come might know.  When I let that great privilege sink in, I am filled with such peace and PEACE MATTERS!  

~Dan~ 

Breaking the Chains

Every single human being on this earth struggles.  It is just the way it is.  We often think when we are doing our best to do the right thing that everything should run smoothly, but that is not always the case.  We all live on earth and while we do, things will not always run smoothly, and things will never be perfect.  

I have written a lot about being thankful in the valleys of life.  I have told you stories about how my grandma walked through the valleys of her life and how she continued to give God praise even when she felt hopeless, scared, and alone.  Being thankful for the struggles and believing that we will emerge from the valleys of life is truly one of the most important ways to maintain our peace while we live on this earth.  There are so many examples of people refusing to give up and who continued to be thankful and give God praise even when they were struggling, but I heard a story on the radio a few days ago that really brought that point home to me in a very powerful way.  I was really touched by the story, so I thought I would share it with all of you in hopes that you, too, would draw strength from it.

It is the story of Paul and Silas in the Bible.  I am sure most of you are aware of the story, but I will give you a quick synopsis anyway.  Paul and Silas were unjustly imprisoned for a crime.  While they were in prison, they continued to be thankful and to praise God.  One night, they decided that they should sing and show God how thankful they were and let Him know how much faith they had that He would deliver them from the prison in which they were held captive.  Around midnight, as they were singing, there was a terrible earthquake.  The force of the earthquake was so strong that the prison doors swung opened.  The chains that held the two men in bondage were broken, and they were set free!

I cannot tell you what hearing this story did for me.  I, like all of you, sometimes feel like I am in bondage and there are things about my life that I would like to change.  It is not that I have a terrible life.  In fact, I have a quite good life, but I have dreams and goals that I would like to accomplish, but it seems that I am in a position that makes realizing those dreams and achieving those goals impossible.  However, when I heard the story of Paul and Silas, I realized that I can be free from the chains that bind me and that the doors to my prison can be opened and I will be set free.  That can and will happen for me, and it will happen for you as well.  

You may be wondering how this is possible, but I want you to remember that it is indeed possible.  It is our job to bring our concerns to God and have faith that He will work them out.  It is our job to continue to be thankful and continue to give Him praise until he delivers us.  It is like the person telling the story of Paul and Silas on the radio said, “Paul and Silas didn’t wait for God to free them before they praised Him.  They praised Him and then saw God deliver them.”  To me, those are powerful words.  Often, we grumble and complain about things and refuse to be thankful until God moves on our behalf.  What we should all try to do is be thankful first and then watch Him move.  I really believe this new mindset will make all of our lives better.  

Another aspect of the story of Paul and Silas that really spoke to me was the timing of God’s miraculous movement.  It was midnight, the time of night when it is often the darkest and things seem the most hopeless.  God waited until that moment when most people would be ready to give up to perform a miracle.  This is true for all of our lives too.  It is often at our darkest moment when we have lost all hope that God moves in a miraculous way and the things we have been waiting for and praying about come to us.  I truly believe this is God’s way of showing us that nothing is impossible and that just when we want to give up He will come through with the answer or miracle that we have been praying about.   

The moral of the story of Paul and Silas can truly be applied to all of our lives.  It is true that many of us will not face the reality of being in prison, but there are so many types of prisons on this earth.  The chains and doors we are trapped by may be invisible to others, but to us, they are very real.  However, when we are thankful and do our best to praise God while we are in prison and are even thankful for the chains and doors that seem to bind us, He will set us free and we will walk down the path no longer encumbered by the weight of our problems.  I really believe that if we would all try a little harder to apply the story of Paul and Silas to our own lives, we will have more peace while we are waiting for God to set us free and PEACE MATTERS!  

~Dan~ 

Life Lessons I Learned From My Grandma: The Beginning Is the End and the End Is the Beginning

One year ago today, March 20, 2016, I was blessed enough to be standing in a hospital room with my grandma when a doctor came in and gave us some devastating news.  You may be wondering how I could consider that a blessing.  When you read on, you will understand.  I never imaged when I awoke that morning that I would be told that my grandma’s life was coming to an end.  I have thought a lot about that day over the past year.  I have thought about what I should have said or what I should have done.  

There really was nothing for me to say or do.  I wasn’t placed there to be a comfort to anyone, especially my grandma.  She had learned from living her life that her comfort came from God.  I wasn’t there to comfort my mom and aunt as they received the news, because my grandma was there to comfort them.  As strange as it may sound, I was there to be an observer.  I was there to take in the beauty of the moment and see one more time, firsthand, what peace and trust in God can do for all of us.  I was placed there to tell the story and to apply the lessons I learned to my own life.

 I am so thankful for that opportunity.  Again, I know that may seem like an odd thing to say, but it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.  To be present when one of the most precious people God ever placed in my life was told that the end was coming is something that I will always be grateful for.  Knowing that I was blessed enough to be able to look in my grandma’s eyes when she was told that she had terminal cancer and there was nothing that could be done was a gift.   I got to hold her hand and see her bright smile looking back at me.  

You see, my grandma and I didn’t need to say anything in that moment.  We had the ability to say so much without saying a word.  My grandma used to say that she didn’t have to hear what I was thinking; she only had to look at my eyes.  I guess the same was true for me.  When I looked in my grandma’s eyes that day, I knew all I needed to know.  When I looked in my grandma’s eyes as the doctor was explaining everything, I saw love in my grandma’s eyes.  I saw trust in her eyes, but most of all I saw peace.  She was not afraid; she was comforted. She was not sad; she was at peace.  Of course that is what I had come to expect from her.  She had lived 90 years, and she had seen the worst parts of life and she had seen the best parts of life.  God had taught her long ago that we grow in the valleys, and she willingly walked into the valley that day knowing that God would teach her something and knowing that she would be a witness to all of us about how to deal with the valley of death.  

I do not think that is was a coincidence that my grandma’s life began to come to an end on the first day of spring.  To me, it was God’s way of saying, “Ruth is getting ready for a new life.”  He was saying that life never really comes to an end and that spring is the perfect time to begin again.  I am not sure if anyone else understood the significance of that day being chosen.  I am not even certain if my grandma understood and to be honest, I did not understand until weeks later.  

This just proves to me that God always has a plan and His plans are perfect.  He has strategically planned out all of our lives, and He understands how perfect His timing is. We have trouble understanding His timing, but He always knows what is best for us.  That day was really not the end of anything.  Sure it signaled the end of my grandma’s earthly life, but it also signaled the beginning of her eternal life.  It is not a day to be mourned; it is a day to be celebrated.  Without that day, many people in our family would not have had the opportunity to spend a little more time with my grandma.  Without that day, the miracles that God had yet to perform for my grandma would not have been shown to her.  Without that day, the prayers that she had been praying for years could not have been answered.  So to me, that day will always be a beautiful day and a very precious gift that I will cling to for the rest of my life.

God chose me to be in that hospital room when my grandma was told that her life was coming to an end.  He chose me to get to look into her eyes as she received that news, and He chose me to get to hold her hand in the minutes after the news was delivered.  I am not sure why He chose me.  I certainly did not deserve to get to be a witness to such a miraculous event, but I certainly am thankful that He did.  

So today, I choose to mark this anniversary with gratitude and love in my heart.  I choose to see this day, not as the anniversary of the end of something, but as the anniversary of the beginning of something because like the title of this post says, “The Beginning Is the End and the End Is the Beginning.”  When I really think about that and I let gratitude fill my heart, I feel such peace and PEACE MATTERS! 

~Dan~ 

My grandma loved the Gaithers and this was one of her favorite songs.  If you listen closely, you can almost hear her singing along. 

Life Lessons I Learned From my Grandma: My Buddy

Life is full of miracles!   I know that from living my own life, but I learned it even more from watching my grandma live hers.  God performed countless miracles for my grandma, and she talked about those miracles until she drew her last breath on May 22, 2016.  She never tired of telling about the miraculous workings of God in her life, and her face would light up with excitement and amazement each time she retold one them.  The stories of the miracles that God performed for her never grew old.  She never tired of telling them.  I truly believe her willingness to recount the miracles that God performed in her life was part of her calling and that God knew when He performed a miracle for her she would give Him the credit and tell everyone she came into contact with about the miracle that He had performed for her.  

Miracles come in every shape and size.  Sometimes they are enormous miracles like unexplained healings, and sometimes they are seemingly small miracles like being in the right place at the right time.  The size of the miracle really is not that important.  What is important is that we know where miracles come from and we never stop telling others about them.  When we do so, we encourage ourselves and more importantly others.  My grandma truly understood that and since she is no longer here to tell the miracles of her life, I have tried my best to keep those miracles alive for her.  In many ways, it is part of my calling in life.  

With that being said, I am going to tell you about the last miracle that God performed for my grandma.  Several years ago in late August, my grandma’s little dog Shelley went to Heaven.  Shelley was a miracle for my grandma.  You see, Shelley was born on August 28, 1998, the exact day that my grandpa passed away.  God knew that my grandma needed a dog, and Shelley was the perfect companion for her.  My grandma loved Shelley so much and was devastated when she passed away.  Everyone encouraged my grandma to get another dog, but she was resistant.  

At her age, she did not want a puppy.  She wanted an older dog, but she also did not know if she was ready to love again.  However, like so many things in life, God knew better.  One morning my aunt called my grandma and told her that a little dog had shown up at her house.  She told my grandma that the dog was in bad shape.  My aunt had to go to the doctor that day, so she put him in her fenced-in backyard.  When my aunt returned home, the dog had gotten out and was not in the fenced-in yard.  He was, instead, waiting for her on the front porch.  She took the dog to my grandma who instantly fell in love with him.  

He was in terrible shape and had been on his own for a very long time.  My grandma took him to the vet, and he told her that the dog was about seven years old, but he had several things that needed attention.  His fur was matted, his tail was infected, he had several bad teeth, and he had no food in his stomach.  It had been a long time since he had eaten.  The vet told my grandma that the dog would not have survived much longer on his own.  My grandma decided then and there that the dog, who she named Buddy, was sent to her from God.  

Buddy had to have surgery and had to have some teeth removed.  My grandma had him groomed and tirelessly gave him medicine and nursed him back to good health.  She loved Buddy so much and the feeling was mutual.  Buddy was a miracle for my grandma, and my grandma was a miracle for Buddy.  They spent several years together and Buddy brought my grandma companionship, love, and devotion and she returned that love to him.  

On March 20, 2016 my grandma was told that she had terminal cancer.  She handled the news with strength and courage, but she had one concern, Buddy.  What would happen to him when she was no longer here to take care of him?  She talked to everyone about it, and I know my grandma well enough to know that she prayed and talked to God about it, too.  My grandma was a firm believer in the power of prayer, and she truly believed that God speaks to all of us.  In fact she often said that she recognized his voice.  No one was in the position to take Buddy, but we all told my grandma that everything would be okay.  

During the two months and two days that my grandma had left on this earth, Buddy was a faithful companion and never left her side.  He spent days and weeks lying on her lap.  He would only leave her side to eat and go outside and then he would return to her.  During the final days of my grandma’s life when she was in bed, Buddy was in bed with her.  He would lie with her and press his little body close to hers.  We would feed him and take him outside, but then he would go directly back to her bedroom and wait for someone to put him in bed with her.  

In the early morning hours of May 22, 2016, my grandma began to draw her last few breaths.  I was in that room with her along with a nurse named Shirley and, of course, Buddy.  The three of us sat with my grandma and watched her as she left this world and went to Heaven.  While my grandma was dying, I was watching Buddy.  He was more alert and watchful than he had been in days.  I truly believe he knew that his mommy was leaving, and he wanted to be a witness to that miraculous event.  I know that sounds strange, but I truly believe he knew.  

As soon as my grandma took her last breath, Buddy got very still and laid down next to her and went to sleep.  When Jeff arrived at my grandma’s house soon after, he took Buddy outside to potty.  When Buddy came back in, he did not go to my grandma’s room.  Even though my grandma’s earthly body was still in the bedroom, he knew she was not there anymore.  Even though we were all sad that my grandma had gone to Heaven, the question on everyone’s mind was “What will we do with Buddy?”  Jeff and I talked about taking him, but we were concerned that our dogs would not accept him.  It really seemed as if there was no one who could take him.    

We had no reason to be concerned though, because like all things in life, God always has a plan.  He was getting ready to perform one last miracle for my grandma.  That is when Julie and Ariele Forehand stepped forward.  Julie is my sister-in-law Amy’s sister.  She and her wife, Ariele, had spent time with my grandma during the holidays and at the kids’ birthday parties.  My grandma loved Julie and Ariele, and they decided that they wanted to take Buddy and make him part of their family, which included another dog and two cats.  Everyone was so relieved that Julie and Ariele wanted to adopt Buddy.  

The change in Buddy when he became part of the Forehand family was nothing short of miraculous.  He was happy and energetic.  He had other animals to play with, and he had more love than he could have ever imagined possible.  I kept up with Buddy through Julie and Ariele and through pictures they would post of him.  He was so happy and had fancy clothes to wear and lots of opportunities to play and sleep with his new family.  I know that my grandma was so happy to know that Buddy was loved and taken care of.  Julie and Ariele helped God perform His last miracle for my grandma.  Julie and Ariele were the answer to one of my grandma’s last prayers.  When I think about that, I am filled with so much emotion and gratitude to Julie and Ariele and to God.  

Sadly, Buddy passed away on Saturday, March 11, 2017.  Julie and Ariele lovingly guided him to the other side, and I know without a doubt that my grandma was waiting at the gates of Heaven for him.  What a beautiful heavenly reunion that must have been!  My grandma and Buddy are together again.  I know that Buddy’s absence is strongly felt in the Forehand house right now.  I know that Julie and Ariele miss Buddy, but I hope they know what they did was a miracle.  I hope they know that God used them to answer a prayer and to perform a miracle.  I hope they know that God will bless them for the love they showed to Buddy and my grandma.  God never takes something away without giving something back, and my prayer is that Julie and Ariele will be richly rewarded for the love they had in their hearts for a little dog that truly was a miracle.   

If you would, I ask you to pray for Julie and Ariele as they deal with the loss of Buddy, and I ask that if you ever have the opportunity to adopt or rescue a dog that you would do it.  You very well could be the miracle that a dog is waiting on, and that dog may be the miracle you have been waiting on, too. When I think about all the miracles that God is capable of performing in all of our lives and I think about the miracles that God performed in my grandma’s life, I am filled with so much gratitude and peace and PEACE MATTERS!  

~Dan~

Dedicated in Loving Memory of

Buddy Cutsinger-Forehand

??/??/?? – 3/11/17

A small, but powerful miracle from God.

I would like to thank Julie and Ariele for allowing me to use their pictures of Buddy for this post. 

You Are Not Alone

There are many times in life when we feel alone.  We may think that no one understands us and that no one really cares about how we are doing.  We can think this so often that we begin to believe it, and it can start to affect how we live our lives and how we interact with people.  We are all called to live a life that is full of peace and compassion, and when we feel that we are alone and that no one cares, we will not have peace in our lives and we will feel no compassion for our fellowman.  The truth is none of us are alone.  God is always with us.  He is right by your side even as you read this.  You may not feel Him, but He is there.  God never leaves us for a second.  He is always there guiding our lives and whispering words of peace to us. 

We sometimes mistakenly think that everyone has given up on us.  We may even think that God has given up on us.  Nothing, and I mean nothing, can separate us from God and His unending love for us.  There is great peace in knowing that we are not alone and that God is with us.  We never have to face anything in life alone.  Our problems are God’s problems, our sorrows are God’s sorrows, and our struggles are God’s struggles.  God is truly our dearest friend and our Heavenly father, and He wants the best for us and He wants us to be happy.  He realizes that we will all make bad decisions and that we will all get ourselves into situations that can cause us pain.  He does not want this for any of us, and He is always there to pull us out and to set us on the right course. 

If you are in a place in our life where you feel alone and that no one cares for you, please realize that you are not alone.  You have never been alone.  God has been with you since you took your first breath, and He will be with you until you draw your last breath.  If that does not bring you a sense of peace, then I don’t know what will.  When I finally got it through my head that God was always with me and that I was never alone, it brought me so much peace.  When I realized that I could always reach out to God and talk to Him about everything, it changed my life.  He can and will do the same for you.  

Please hear me say this again: You are never, ever alone.  God is always with you.  He will never leave you or forsake you, and He will guide your life if you will just take His hand and follow Him.  When we finally realize that God is in control of everything that happens in our lives and that we are never alone, it will change the way we see everything.  It will bring us hope, and it will bring us peace and as we all know, PEACE MATTERS.   

~Dan~

The Colors of Doris Day

Anyone who truly knows me knows that I love Doris Day.  It may seem strange for a forty-four year old man to love Doris Day, but golly I do.  She just makes me smile when I think of her, and when I listen to her sing I am transformed to a simpler time and I feel peace.  When I watch her movies, I have the same peaceful feeling.  So what better place than a blog entitled Peace Matters to celebrate a lady who has brought me so much peace?  

I am sure it will come as no surprise to anyone to know that the person who first introduced me to Doris Day was my grandma.  It seems she was always, unknowingly at times, leading me to people and things that would bring so much joy and peace to my life.  I remember the day so well.  I was sitting in my grandma’s living room talking to her and out of the blue she said, “I love Doris Day!  I love listening to her sing.”  Well, that is all it took for me.  If my grandma loved Doris Day, I had to know more about her.  I started researching Doris Day and soon realized why my grandma loved her so much.  Doris Day truly brought light to everything she touched.  She lit up the movie screen with her wide smile and golden hair.  She could make me laugh and then in the next moment make me cry.  She could sing so beautifully and effortlessly, and it truly has become impossible for me to think of Doris Day and not smile.  

Like all of us, Doris Day has had struggles to endure on this earth.  It is easy for people on the outside to think that someone like Doris Day has it all and that she lives a perfect life.  However, we all know that that is not true for any of us.  God knows that this life is hard and He knows that we will face valleys in life, but He knows that those valleys will make us better people who will bring a change into the world that will touch so many other people’s lives.  Doris Day endured the struggle of having her dancing career halted by a terrible accident.  She endured financial difficulties, and she lost her only son to cancer.  I cannot image how all of those struggles and the struggles that no one knows about affected Doris Day, but she continued to move forward.  She continued to forge a new path, and in the process she touched the lives of millions of people.  

When I think of Doris Day, I cannot help but think of the color yellow.  I read once that yellow was her favorite color.  I am not sure if it is or not, but I continually find myself being drawn to the color yellow.  Yellow is the color of my favorite flower, the sunflower, yellow is the color of the sun, and yellow is the color of the streets that run through heaven.  Yellow is even the color of a famous brick road that leads to Oz in one of my favorite movies.  And when Jeff and I got married, yellow was one of our colors.  Some would say this is all coincidence, but I would disagree.  It seems to me that many things that bring me joy and peace are associated with the color yellow, and Doris Day is no exception.  

So, to celebrate Doris Day and to bring some light and that much needed color into all of our lives, I have decided to share some of my favorite Doris Day songs and movie clips with all of you.  I hope that in some small way these clips will brighten your day and take you back to a simpler easy time when Doris Day graced the silver screen and her recordings played on record players across the country.  As many of you may know, it has been a dream of mine to meet Doris Day.  I know it seems like an impossible dream, but if life has taught me anything it has taught me that miracles happen every single day and that nothing is impossible.  I would like to thank Doris Day for all the joy and peace she has brought to my life and to the lives of millions of others, including my grandma’s.  

Maybe Doris Day will read this post and it will remind her that she has made a difference in the world.  She has been a powerful, positive force in what often seems like a dark and sad world.  She has made a difference in the lives of others, and of course we cannot forget the animals that she has helped along the way.  She and her foundation have made it a mission to save and rescue millions of animals, and that makes me love her even more.  The thing that all of us need to remember is that we can all have a positive effect on the world.  The colors of all of our lives are shaded with dark times, but in the end the light will always shine through and peace will fill all of our lives if we only let it, and PEACE MATTERS! 

~Dan~

I Will Trust in You

There is a song that I often listen to when I am concerned about something that is going on in my life.  It is called “Trust in You” by Lauren Daigle.  This song reminds me that God is always with us through everything we experience in life.  Even when we cry out to Him to change the difficult situations we all face in life and He doesn’t, we still have to trust Him.  We have to know that He has a plan and that He will never leave us.  My favorite lines of the song are, “When you don’t move the mountains I’m needing you to move, when you don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through, when you don’t give the answers as I cry out to you, I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you.” 

I said all of that to say that even when we pray for something and it doesn’t happen, that does not mean that God is not listening.  It does not even mean that He did not answer our prayers.  It means that He chose to answer them in a different way than we thought He would.  He always knows what is best.  Many times we do not understand His ways, and it is easy for us to become angry with God and to question His wisdom, but often when we are able to look back, we will see that He truly did do what was best for us. 

However, there are times when we cannot see that what He did was best for us, and that is when trust comes into play.  We have to trust that He does know what is best.  God never leads us to a place and then says, “Figure it out yourself.”  God never says, “You made this mess.  Now do something about it.”   He is always there for us, and He is constantly working on our behalf to give us the best life we can possibly have.  He knows that we will learn something very valuable from the trials that come our way.   He knows that we grow in the valleys, and He knows that these trials can draw us closer to Him.  

So the next time you are walking through the valley and you cry out to God to move the mountain or part the waters and He doesn’t, do not lose hope.  Do not become angry.  Do not lose faith. Simply trust Him.  He will never leave you or forsake you, and He will always lead you safely out of the valley.  When you emerge you will be a stronger, more faith-centered person with a better understanding of God’s plans for your life.  When we truly put our trust in God in ALL situations, we will have peace even in the darkest storm or in the deepest valley and PEACE MATTERS! 

~Dan~

Love

It has been said that love makes the world go ‘round.  People spend their whole lives searching for love.  They dream about it, sing about it, write about it, and fight for it.  We all want to find that one true love.  It becomes a quest for some of us and many of us find it, but there are some people who never seem to find it, and it affects their entire lives.  They see love as something to possess, and they often look in the wrong places to find it.  They are so desperate to feel love that they often mistake it and end up being even more disillusioned than they were before.  We all find ourselves searching for unconditional love, and many of us believe that it does not exist.  

There are many types of love.  There is the love we feel for our friends, there is the love will feel for our significant other, and there is the love we feel for our children.  There are many degrees of love.  There is the type of love that is fleeting and can end as quickly as it began.  There is the kind of love that is stronger, but can still be broken.  I believe that there is a continuum of love.  Imagine for a moment that love was something that we could actually see.  Love ranges from the very weak to the very strong.  The first degree begins like a spider web.  It is very fragile and anything can break it.  The next degree of love is like a piece of thread, then a piece of yarn.  It becomes thicker and becomes a thin rope, which becomes even sturdier until it is a piece of tightly woven fabric.  The tightly woven fabric eventually becomes even stronger and turns into metal.  The metal becomes thicker and thicker until it is a large steel beam.  If you know anything about steel beams, they are unbreakable.  This is God’s love.  You see, nothing can break the love of God.  He truly has unconditional love for all of us.  His love can never be broken no matter what we do.  He loves us when we are good, and He loves us when we are bad.  He will never turn His back on us, and He will never fall out of love with us.   

The only other love that can even compare with God’s love is that of a parent.  For those of you who are parents, think about how much you love your children and even when they do wrong or disappoint you, you still love them.  They can spend years making bad decisions and messing up their lives, but you still love them.  They can even get mad at you and sometimes even be cruel to you, and you still love them.   

Now, think about this for a second. God’s love is even greater than that.  I find that completely amazing.  He loves us no matter what.  We can mess up our lives, make bad decisions, and even turn our backs on Him and He still loves us.  He waits patiently for us to finally realize that we need Him in our lives, and He welcomes us back home with open arms.  He doesn’t hold grudges and doesn’t try to make us feel guilty for our transgressions. He is just happy to see us again, and He helps us pick up the broken pieces of our lives and puts them back together for us.  Now, if that is not the true definition of unconditional love, I don’t know what is.   

The word love is mentioned in the Bible 310 times.  The Bible even says that the greatest of the gifts that God gives us is love.  Love can truly change our families, our country, our world, and us.  God tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves.  I believe that He also wants us to love people the way He loves us.  We may never be able to completely accomplish that, but if we can even get a little closer to it, it will change everything.   

So, the next time you think that you have really messed your life up and you feel alone and unloved, think of that steel beam.  Think of how much God loves you and remember that His love is unbreakable.  Rest in that assurance and go back home.  He will be waiting there with open arms and with more love than you can ever imagine.  Knowing that God’s love is unconditional will bring us peace, and PEACE MATTERS. 

~Dan~  

Special thanks to Stacee Droit of Arnett's Country Store who so graciously allowed me to use some of her pictures for this blog entry.  You can visit the Arnett's Country Store's website at www.arnettscountrystore.com.  

Sow Seeds of Kindness

How many times have we heard, “You reap what you sow”?  I do not think there are many people living in this country, or anywhere else for that matter, who have not been told this at one time or another.  I think that we have heard this so often that we do not always examine what it really means.  We all understand the fundamental meaning behind it, but we often forget to apply it to every situation that we encounter as we walk this journey called life.  I know that I have often failed to heed these words, and I am not much different than the rest of the world, so I think it is fairly safe to say that many of us forget to apply the meaning behind the words that have been engrained in us since we were children.

I, like all of you, have been watching the events that have been unfolding in our country and around the world during the last few months.  I have read article after article giving credit to both sides.  I have read Facebook posts where people have expressed their beliefs, and I have then seen the reign of dissension that has been poured down on someone for expressing his or her point of view.  This behavior occurs on both sides of the issue.  I do not think I have ever seen people in our country so divided.  I am sure in history there has been a time when the division was as great or even greater, but in my lifetime, I do not think I have ever seen such a wide divide.  The great thing about living in the United States of America is that we can all have our own beliefs.  We can choose to live our lives the way that we feel we are supposed to live them without fear of retribution from opposing sides.  We can express our views without being persecuted for them.  At least that is the way that it is supposed to be.  

Unfortunately, it seems to me that some of us have forgotten that.  I have my beliefs, and I feel very strongly about them.  For me, they are the only way that I can live my life with peace in my heart.  Other people have different beliefs than I do, and they have to maintain their beliefs to have peace in their hearts.  That is okay.  It is okay to believe differently.  It is okay not to agree.   And it is okay to live differently than someone else.  However, it is not okay to persecute and hate someone who believes differently, lives differently, or even simply looks different than we do.  Love and kindness is a common human emotion that everyone in this world possesses.  Compassion and goodness is something that each of us has and can spread throughout our world.  

All of us, and I mean all of us, are created in God’s image.  God loves everyone.  I am going to repeat that again. God loves everyone!  He is not a respecter of persons.  He does not love me more than He loves you.  He does not love the people who live in Illinois more than the people who live in Florida, and He does not love the people who live in America more than the people who live in other parts of the world.  God wants the best for all of us, and He speaks to all of us.  He is ever present in every single person’s life who lives on this planet.  I truly believe that if we could remember that, it would make all of our lives a little easier.  I truly believe that if we could all have just a little of the love that God has for us for everyone on the planet that the world would be a better place.  

We are never all going to agree.  It is just not going to happen, and I do not expect that to happen, but we can still love each other and show respect to each other and show compassion to each other even if we disagree.  No man is an island and we all need each other.  God created us to be brothers and sisters to all of our fellowmen.  He created us to show kindness to the weak of spirit, He created us to show kindness to the misdirected, and He created us to show kindness to even the people we fear.  Fear is not from God.  Hate is not from God.  An inability to accept the differences that we all have is not from God.  God is love, God is acceptance, God is compassion, and God is kindness.  

We all sow seeds in our lives, and it is up to us to sow the seeds that will grow and do the most good for all of mankind.  We can sow seeds of hate, but that is what we will get back.  We can sow seeds of fear, but that is what we will get back.  We can sow seeds of unacceptance, but that is what we will get back.  However, when we sow seeds of love, that is what we get back.  When we sow seeds of peace, that is what we will get back, and when we sow seeds of kindness, that is what we will get back.  And the thing that we all need to remember is that what we sow into the world always comes back to us in a greater amount than what we put out there.  So it is up to all of us to decide what we want back.  To me, it is an easy decision, and I am sure you will agree with me.   

So let’s all choose to sow seeds of love, acceptance, and kindness, not just for the people who believe like we believe, but also for all of mankind.  We are sharing this world and we are meant to stand together.  Policies and walls are not going to change this world.  Love and acceptance will.  When that becomes all of our platforms, there will be more peace on this earth than any of us can imagine and PEACE MATTERS! 

~Dan~

Casting Your Concerns Aside

We have often heard that we should cast our concerns aside.  It is something we find ourselves saying, and during times of trouble others have likely given us this advice.  However, how many of us actually do this?  I know I struggle daily casting my concerns aside.  I, like all of you, have things in my life that concern me or cause me to worry on a daily basis.  I hold on to those concerns and worries and carry them with me as I go through my daily life.  As I encounter more concerns, I pick those up and carry them with me.  There have been times in my life when the weight of those concerns weighs me down to the point where I have trouble enjoying the simple pleasures of life.  The weight of the concerns and worry are so heavy that I have trouble functioning.  

God does not intend for any of us to be concerned or worried.  He knows that living on this earth can cause us to be full of concern and worry, but He truly does want us to cast those concerns aside and not carry them around with us.  You may be wondering how this is even possible.  I have to tell you that it is not easy, but it can be done.  We should all try a little harder to take our concerns to God and leave them with Him.  The weight of those concerns will not weigh Him down.  He can handle anything and everything that we bring to Him.  His shoulders are strong enough to carry the worry and concern for everyone.  Often when we bring our concerns to God, we pick them up and carry them back with us.  We should all try a little harder to leave them with God.  

I am a very visual person.  I have to write things down so that I do not forget them.  I have to see an arrangement in my house before I am confident that I will like it, and I have to see a picture of a plan before I know for sure if the plan will work.  So, I have come up with a little exercise that I think will benefit us all.  I am going to start writing down my concerns and worries on slips of paper, and then I am going to place those concerns in a basket.  If you are like me, you have plenty of baskets to choose from.  Each time I have a new concern, I am going to write it down and place it in the basket.  This will represent me giving my concerns to God.  I am going to do my best to leave the concerns in that basket, and I am not going to pick the papers up and read them again.  Once they are in the basket, they are out of my hands and they are no longer my concerns.  Those concerns now belong to God.  After all, God knows what to do with things left in a basket.  He sure knew how to take care of Moses and, as we know, he was once left in a basket too!  

I hope you will do this exercise with me.  I truly believe that if we cast our concerns aside and let God handle them, we will find that we feel lighter.  We will find that we have more time to focus on the good things in life.  This simple little exercise will represent us taking our concerns to God, and I think it will really help.  We just have to be ever mindful not to pick the concerns up again.  Casting our concerns aside and leaving them with God to take care of will bring all of us more peace and PEACE MATTERS! 

~Dan~

The Dawning of a New Year

As the New Year burst through the stars early this morning, I was reminded of all the events that took place during 2016.  I was reminded of the joys that the year held, and I was reminded of the sorrows that occupied a year that saw much change for so many people.  As 2016 slowly faded away, I was reminded that each day is an opportunity to start anew.  I was reminded that the past is in the past.  I was reminded that we should learn from our experiences, and we should allow them to make us better people.  I was reminded that hope is the answer to all the problems of the world and that love will always triumph over hate.

The year 2016 is one that I will never forget.  This year brought me closer to realizing my dreams, and it held sorrows that shook me to the core.  Above all, through the joy and the pain, it helped to remind me that there is always hope and that God always has a plan.  It showed me that God’s timing is perfect and just when we are about to give up, He steps in and shows us just how powerful He is.  This year showed me that miracles do indeed exist and that all things work toward our good.  This year showed me that love truly is the answer to all the problems in our lives and that having an attitude of gratitude will sustain us through the valleys and trials of life. 

I remembered being grateful when our previous home sold.  I remembered being grateful as Jeff and I finally exchanged wedding vows.  I remembered being grateful when we were led to the ideal rental house, and I remembered being grateful when we broke ground for our saltbox.  These were all wonderful events; however, I also remembered being grateful that I was standing in a hospital room with my grandma when she was given the news that she had terminal cancer.  I remembered being grateful for every second I got to spend with her.  I remembered being grateful for being at her house for one last Mother’s Day, and I remembered being grateful that I was holding her hand when God stepped into the room and led her home.  I remembered being grateful that I was given the honor of speaking at her funeral, and I remembered being grateful that I could share her life and her stories with all of you.  

A grateful heart can accompany every experience we encounter in life, the good and the bad. It is true that none of us knows what 2017 will bring us, and many of us are filled with fear and concern, but we should always do our best to lay those fears and concerns down.  They are not meant for us to carry.  We should give those fears and concerns to God.  He is strong enough to carry them for all of us.  What we should carry into the New Year is hope, love, faith, and excitement.  Hope for all the miraculous things that God will do this year.  Love for our fellowman.  Faith that all things are possible, and we should be excited to watch those things unfold.  

It truly is a matter of perspective.  We can choose to see what is wrong with this world or we can choose to see what is right.  We can choose to see hopelessness or we can choose to see hope.  We can choose to see hate or we can choose to see love.  We can choose to feel dread or we can choose to feel excitement.  It is up to each of us which side of the coin we want to focus on.  It is a personal choice what we want to see.  If we choose to see the bad that is what we will see, but if we choose to see the good that is what we will see.  Our eyes are truly drawn to what we are looking for.  So, let’s all choose to see the good during 2017.  Of course this year will present all of us with challenges and difficult times, but it will also present us with joy and happy times.  When we focus on the good instead of the bad, it will truly change our outlook on life, and we will see the world in a different light.  

Each New Year people make resolutions.  Some of us decide that this is the year we will exercise more, eat better, give up a bad habit, or spend more time doing something we love.  Those are all great resolutions to make, but we can also make resolutions to see the beauty in life more, to love more and to accept the differences in our neighbors more.  We can resolve to have more hope, more faith, and more optimism in our lives.  These resolutions will change our lives.  They will change our minds, and more importantly they will change our spirits.  They will give us a new outlook on life, and they will allow us to approach the challenges of the New Year with peace in our hearts.  

As 2017 gets underway, I ask you to join me in making resolutions that will change our sprits.  I ask that you see the good in the world instead of the bad.  I ask that you love your neighbor and do your best to accept all people, even the ones who think differently than you do, the ones who live differently than you do, and the ones who believe differently than you do.  I ask that you choose hope over hopelessness, and I ask that you choose to be excited about what God will do for all of us during 2017.  When we make these resolutions and apply them to our lives, there will be so much more peace for all of us and PEACE MATTERS!   

~Dan~

The Gift of Song: A Christmas Message

Music has always played an important role in my life.  I truly cannot remember a time when there was not music playing.  My parents loved to listen to records when I was a little kid, and I can remember sitting and listening to them.  My dad played the guitar, and we would all sit and listen to him.  Music was everywhere.  As I got older, my brother and I would listen to music all the time.  We would listen to it throughout the day, and it always seemed to be playing as we would go to sleep at night.  As an adult, I would listen to music and eventually met and married a wonderful piano player, insuring that music would always be a part of my life.  

I think music is one of the most powerful mediums there is.  Music can make us happy.  It can make us sad.  It can bring back long forgotten memories.  Music is the ideal time traveler.  It can truly transport us in time.   When we listen to music, we often feel a sense of peace that sometimes eludes us during our everyday lives.  Everyone of us has a soundtrack that accompanies our life.  Each of our soundtracks is different, yet each makes us feel the same way.

I think that one of the most thought provoking genres of music is Christmas music.  Christmas music is a common thread that holds all of us together.  It is almost impossible not to feel a sense of warmth and happiness when we listen to Christmas music.  When we listen to Christmas music, we are inundated with the emotions that God wants us to feel as we live our lives on this earth.  When we listen to Christmas music, we feel hope, peace, and thankfulness.  Christmas music inspires us to have goodwill toward our fellow man.  It encourages us to be generous to others, and above all it instructs us to love.  The way I see it, it doesn't get any better than that. 

So, as my Christmas present to you, I want to share three Christmas songs that have always meant a lot to me.  I think when you listen to them, you will see why.  There are so many more Christmas songs that I could have shared with you, but these three seem to fit the message of the blog perfectly.  I hope you enjoy them.  

The first song is “Where are You Christmas.”  This song was written for the motion picture, How the Grinch Stole Christmas.  It is performed by Faith Hill.  This song talks about not having the Christmas spirit, but then finding it when we realize that Christmas is in our hearts.  As the song ends we all realize that love is the best way to have the Christmas feeling all year long.  My favorite line of the song is, “If there is love, in your heart and your mind, you will feel like Christmas all the time.”  This song truly evokes the true meaning of Christmas.

The second song is “Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth.”  This song is performed by Bing Crosby and David Bowie and was part of Bing Crosby’s holiday special entitled Bing Crosby’s Merrie Olde Christmas, which aired on November 30,1977 shortly after Bing passed away in October of the same year.  This song talks about having peace on earth and weaves in the story of the little boy who had nothing to give the baby Jesus except his gift of song.  My favorite line from the song is, “Every child must be made aware.  Every child must be made to care, care enough for his fellow man to give all the love that he can.”  This song truly inspires us to find peace on earth and to instill that belief in the generations that will follow us.  

The third song is “The Christmas Guest.”  This is a spoken song, but it is very powerful.  It is performed by Reba McEntire.  This song is about an old man who has received a message from God that He will be visiting him at his home on Christmas Day.  The old man is so happy to be able to entertain God on Christmas, but encounters other guests that detain him from waiting on God to arrive.  At the end of the song we learn that the old man has indeed been entertaining God, but in a much different way than he anticipated.  My favorite line from this song is, “Of all the gifts, love in the best, and I was honored to be your Christmas Guest.”  This song truly inspires us to be generous to others and to show compassion and love to everyone.  It encourages us to always do what we can for a fellowman and reminds us that when we do for them, we are doing for God Himself.  

I truly hope you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed getting it together for all of you.  It has caused me to listen to these songs over and over, and each time I did I was filled with so much joy and that wonderful Christmas spirit, and I hope that it does the same for you.  

I have so many wonderful memories of Christmas, and they stay in my heart all year long and I know that they will never fade away.  As I was preparing this blog post, I was reminded of a Christmas when I was an early teenager.  After we would open presents at home, we would all go to my grandma and grandpa’s house to have breakfast and open presents there.  My grandma loved Christmas, and she worked so hard preparing for it.  There was a time in my life when my family did not have much money, and my parents struggled to provide the necessities of life for us, but it was even harder at Christmas.  They wanted to give us the best Christmas possible, but finances stood in their way.  My grandma would always give my parents extra money at Christmas to make sure that my brothers and I had the best Christmas possible.  You all have gotten to know my grandma through this blog, so I am sure her generosity does not come as a surprise to you.  That is just the type of person she was.  

However, that is not the Christmas memory that I am going to tell you about.  As I said before, this memory took place when I was an early teenager.  Before we opened our presents at my grandparents house, my grandma said that she wanted each of us to tell something that we were thankful for.  She started and then we went around the room.  I am embarrassed to say that this used to make me very uncomfortable.  It was not that I didn't have anything to be thankful for, but saying it out loud made me uncomfortable.  However, my grandma was asking me to do it, so I did.  Looking back on it now, I realize that my grandma understood how important it was to be thankful for our many blessings.  She did this until she drew her last breath, and she encouraged others to do the same. Now I try to encourage others to express their gratitude through this blog.  

It amazes me how the circle of life works.  It was as if my grandma knew all those years ago that I needed to get in the habit of being thankful so that I could write the things I do for this blog which will hopefully encourage others to be thankful for all they have.  Leave it to my grandma to be preparing me for my life without me even knowing.  So I am so thankful that she did have us go around that room and tell what we are thankful for, because now it makes it easier for me to have a thankful attitude.  She knew that an attitude of gratitude would sustain me during the difficult times, and that is a gift that is worth so much.  

I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas.  I truly pray that this Christmas will be one of the best you have had and that it will be filled with memories that will last a lifetime.  I hope that you will all remember the true meaning of Christmas and that you will go out of your way to help your fellowman.  I hope that you will hold the Christmas spirit in your heart all year long and that you will show compassion, acceptance, and most of all love to everyone you encounter in your daily walk.  When we give the gift of love, it always comes back to us.  When we show love to everyone, the world will truly be a better place full of more peace than we can even imagine and PEACE MATTERS!  

~Dan~

Dreaming of a White Christmas

For as long as we can remember, we have all been dreaming of a white Christmas.  This feeling has been intensified by the popular song by Bing Crosby that we have grown up listening to.  In my neck of the woods, we often experience unseasonably warm temperatures during the month of December making the chances of having the proverbial white Christmas very slim.  It is not uncommon to hear people say that the warmer temperatures are not putting them in the Christmas spirit.  We have all found ourselves saying at one time or another, “It will not feel like Christmas if there is no snow.”  

I have recently found myself thinking the same thing this year.  Then one morning on my way to school, I heard the song “White Christmas” and as I was driving and listening to the song, a thought occurred to me.  Do we really have to have snow on the ground in order to have a white Christmas?  I thought about the question for a moment and then decided that no, we did not need to have snow to have a white Christmas.  I started thinking about God and what He has called all of us to do during our time on this earth.  We all have a calling on our lives, and while each person’s calling may be different, we all, every single one of us, are called to make the world a better place and to help our fellowman.  

As I thought about this, I realized that when we fulfill our calling to make the world a better place and to help each other, we bring light to the world.  Then I thought to myself, “What color is the light?” and of course my answer was white.  In that moment, I realized that it is up to each of us whether we have a white Christmas or not.  We can choose to answer our calling and bring light to the world.  When we do, the world will be a better place and we will feel more positive about the world in which we live and the lives we are living. God’s love and His goodness is light and of course His light is the whitest of all, so if we have God’s love in our lives then we once again can have a white Christmas regardless of the weather.  

So, the next time you feel the urge to say that it will not seem like Christmas without snow, think of ways that you can bring light to the world.  Think of ways that you can spread the joy that God wants all of us to feel and think of ways that you can help your fellowman.  If you do that, then you most assuredly will have a white Christmas.  Spreading the light that God shines on all of us, seeing the world with positive eyes, and helping our fellowman will bring each of us peace and PEACE MATTERS.  

~Dan~

The images used in this blog post were taken at our previous home in 2012, when we did in fact have a white Christmas.  

Life Lessons I Learned From my Grandma: Keeping the Tradition Alive

If you follow me on Facebook, read my blog, or have read some of the articles I have written for A Primitive Place & Country Journal magazine, you know about the yearly Christmas tradition of my grandma and me making bon bons.  If you are not aware of that tradition, I will give you a quick synopsis. 

Thirty-two years ago, when I was twelve and my grandma was fifty-nine, my grandma called me and asked if I wanted to help her make bon bons for Christmas.  Bon bons are a Christmas candy that my grandma had made for years.  I always enjoyed her bon bons, which is a combination of peanut butter, graham crackers, coconut, and pecans made into a ball and dipped in chocolate.  When she asked me to help, I immediately said yes.  My grandma and I were always close and I loved spending time with her, so this seemed like the perfect opportunity to be with her and learn how to make something that I had always enjoyed.  

That simple phone call turned into a thirty-year tradition.  Every Christmas for thirty years I would go to her house and we would make bon bons.  For thirty years, we sat around the same kitchen table.  For thirty years, we shared our lives with each other.  We told stories, we laughed, and we cried.  We reminisced about the past, and we dreamed about the future.  It was during those times that my grandma told me the story of her life.  We sat at the kitchen table and aged.  Who would have ever thought that that twelve-year-old boy and fifty-nine-year-old woman would still be sitting around that same table when the boy was 43 and the woman was 90!  When I think about that, I am just amazed and so grateful that I was given that great gift.  I would not trade anything for those times with my grandma.  I truly believe it was part of God’s plan for my life, and I truly believe those times help to shape me into the person that I am today and the person I will become tomorrow.          

As many of your know, my grandma went to Heaven on May 22, 2016.  It is has been an adjustment living my life without her, but she has made her presence known, and I know that she continues to walk with me and guide me.  Her guidance is just from a different place in a different way.  For several months people had been asking me if I was going to make bon bons this year.  I always answered the same way: “I will make them again, but not this year.”  I was adamant about my response and felt like it was the right thing to do.  However, the question was continually asked.  

As Christmas began to draw closer, I thought more and more about the times I made bon bons with my grandma.  She would always start talking about it at Thanksgiving, and we would start collecting all the ingredients that we needed to make them.  This Thanksgiving she was not there to talk to me about them.  As Jeff and I were leaving my parents’ house on Thanksgiving, my mom asked me again if I was going to make bon bons this year.  I answered in the same way that I had continually answered the question: “I will make them again, but not this year.”

On December 5th I woke up and was sick.  I had to stay home from school that day.  Jeff went to school and the Ps had grooming appointments so I was completely alone in the house.  This is a very rare occurrence.  I was walking around looking at the Christmas decorations and thinking about my grandma.  I was thinking about all the years that we had made bon bons and how strange it was that we were not making them this year.  I decided that I wanted to listen to some music on YouTube.  I do this occasionally.  I put my headphones on and listen to a song that I feel like I am supposed to listen to.  It is kind of a way that I meditate and center myself.  I decided to listen to the song “O Holy Night.”  I wanted to hear the David Phelps version of the song, which was part of a Gaither Christmas special.  The Gaithers have always played an important role in my past Christmases.  My grandma loved them and had many videos of their specials, and she would watch them over and over again.  She always chose a Christmas special to have on the television when she and I made bon bons.  

As I was listening to the song, I was naturally thinking even more about my grandma and me making bon bons.  Suddenly, a memory came flooding back to me.  It took place maybe four years ago.  I was standing in my grandma’s kitchen making bon bons and she said, “You know, one day grandma is not going to be here.  When that happens, I don’t want you to be sad and I want you to keep making these bon bons.”  Not wanting to think about her not being here anymore, I quickly answered, “I will.”  I was hoping that would satisfy her and we could get on with making bon bons, but she was not derailed.  She took my hand and looked me right in the eye and said, “You promise?”  I can still see her gray eyes looking at me as she said those words.  I said, “I promise.”  

As I listened to that song and remembered the promise I had made to my grandma, I knew that I had to make bon bons this year.  I argued a little with myself and said, “Who would I even ask?”  I uttered the question out loud, and I heard my grandma’s voice and she said, “Ask your mother.  She is the closest you can get to me on this earth.”  Even as I type those words, I am filled with such astonishment.  I had never thought about asking my mom.  I have no idea why the thought had not occurred to me, but it hadn’t.  

When Jeff got home from school I was still wrestling with the idea of making bon bons.  I told Jeff that I really felt like I should make them.  I said to him, “Who do you think grandma would want me to make bon bons with this year.”  He thought for a minute and then said, “Your mom.”  That was enough for me.  I immediately texted my mom and said, “Will you make bon bons with me this year?” She responded immediately, “I sure will!!!” and for the first time since my grandma went to Heaven I found myself excited about making bon bons again, and I was truly looking forward to it.  

So this past Saturday, my mom came over and we made bon bons.  When my mom and aunt were cleaning out my grandma’s house this past summer, my mom asked me if there was anything that I wanted.  I thought about it for a minute and told her that I wanted all the items that my grandma and I used to make bon bons.  Now these are not new things.  We had used them for thirty years and they were not new when we started using them, but those items held so many memories for me and I knew when the time came for me to make bon bons again, I would want to use the same things that we had always used.  As silly as it sounds, it just would not be the same without using them.  So Jeff and I went to my grandma’s house, and I found all the things we had used and brought them home.  When my mom came to make bon bons, I got those items out of the cabinet and we used them.  

As we were making bon bons, we talked about life.  We talk about my grandma and things that she had done and said.  It was a lot of fun, and we were not sad while we were doing it.  I think we were both happy to know that the tradition was continuing.  It felt right and natural to me.  It was different because I was not doing it with my grandma, but it felt like it was the right thing to do.  I remember one of the last things my grandma said to my mom was “The world keeps turning.”  My grandma has suffered enough loss in her life that she knew that life goes on.  She wanted my mom to remember that and I know that she wants me to remember it too.  Life does go on.  It doesn’t diminish the importance of the person’s life who is no longer with us. In fact, I think it gives their life more meaning for us to pick up the pieces and move on.  

We should never stop remembering the people we have lost and we should never stop telling their stories, but we should continue to live.  I feel like in some small way my mom and I did that.  Life has changed for us both, but we decided to change with it and make a new tradition.  I think my grandma would be pleased.  I truly believe she was with us that day, and I know she was smiling.  As my mom was leaving she said something that really stuck with me.  She said, “It is funny how something that starts out as something little can turn into something so big that has such great meaning.”   When she said that I was reminded of the quote by Laura Ingalls Wilder that says, “I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.”  How true that statement really is.  Often in life it is the things that have the humblest of beginnings that turn out to be the important things that guide our lives and bring us the greatest sense of peace and PEACE MATTERS!  

~Dan~   

If you would like to make bon bons, here is the recipe:

Grandma Ruth’s Bon Bons

4 cups of graham cracker crumbs

1 cup of coconut flakes

1 cup of creamy peanut butter

2 sticks of melted butter

4 cups of powdered sugar

1 cup of chopped pecans

2 tablespoons of vanilla

Topping:

1 slab of paraffin

2 twelve-ounce bags of chocolate chips (semi-sweet)

Mix ingredients together in a large bowl.  If mixture is too dry, add more butter or peanut butter.  If mixture is too moist, add more graham cracker crumbs or powdered sugar.  Form mixture into balls and place them on wax paper. 

Melt paraffin and chocolate chips together in a double boiler.  When the mixture is melted, dip the balls in the chocolate.  Place the bon bons on wax paper while the chocolate hardens.  

I would highly encourage you to start a tradition with someone you love this year.  It could be that it is exactly what you both need and turn out to be a tradition that you will both look back on fondly in the years to come.   

Have Yourself an Early Little Christmas

Every year when Jeff and I start talking about decorating for Christmas, I always say the same thing: “I don't want to go overboard this year.  I want to keep things simple.”  I usually end the conversation with an impassioned statement.  I say, “Christmas should be an accent!”  So each year when we begin decorating, I try to keep it simple.  Sometimes I am successful and sometimes I am not as successful as I hoped I’d be. 

I guess to truly understand my statement one has to go back in time about thirteen or fourteen years.  Jeff and I were just two young kids at the time.  Of course, we thought we were old, but we were mistaken. Even then I decorated in the “primitive” style, but looking back at the pictures, I really did not have a good sense of what the word primitive meant.  Thinking about it now, I am still not certain that I have a complete grasp of what the word primitive means.  However, I digress. Back in those days, Christmas decorating was weeks long.  We would literally remove most of our everyday decorations and put them away so that we could make room for Christmas.  Christmas was everywhere.  Oh my!  It truly was everywhere!  Of course we thought it looked good, and honestly I guess it did.  We enjoyed it, but it was so “in your face”! 

Over the years, as my decorating style became more focused, so did our Christmas decorating.  We were not where I wanted to be, but it was becoming a little more simple. As my collections went from “primitive” to “early,” I wanted our Christmas decorations to make the transition too.  This meant that we had to rid ourselves of lots of Christmas decorations.  I always say that Christmas decorations are some of the hardest items to part with.  I think we just want to hold on to them forever because they bring back so many memories. However, once we started purging, I think we both felt better.

We started focusing more on the collections that we had in our home and how we could make those collections seem more like Christmas. I started focusing more on using sprigs of greenery to liven up a space and added little red berries to give a splash of color.  I started adding handmade Christmas decorations that had the same early feel that I was going for in the rest of the house, and I had to ask Jeff to stop using so many lights.  These all seem like simple things to accomplish, but it took more than five years for it to really evolve.  Of course, I am far from being where I want to be.   Each year I get a little closer, but I think all people who have a passion for decorating would say that our houses are always changing and they are always evolving. The last thing we passionate decorators want to become is predictable or stagnant.  So, each Christmas I keep plugging away and working hard to “keep it simple”.  

Let me tell you, it is not easy to decorate simply.  I used to look at pictures of houses that were decorated simply and think, “Well, that doesn’t look hard.” However, it really is.  To force myself to have an editing eye is really difficult for me.  I try all the time, but it really has taken me out of my comfort zone.  The more I do it, the more I like it though, and I am optimistically hopeful that by the time we get into the saltbox, I will have an even better editing eye. For now, I am just enjoying the process.  

Christmas is a time of peace and joy.  It is a time that our houses should reflect who we are and the things that we hold dear.  It is a time that we should appreciate the simple things in life.  When we truly focus on the true meaning of Christmas and the simplicity that the season can bring to our lives, we will have more peace and PEACE MATTERS! 

~Dan~