Pain

Pain is something that all of us have experienced, and we will experience it again.  There are many types of pain.  There is physical pain, emotional pain, and spiritual pain.  The pain we experience can rule our lives, or it can even define who we are if we let it.  The choice is up to us.  You see, I see pain not as something that happens to us, but rather something that happens for us.  I think we can all agree that life is about learning lessons and growing.  It is about us learning to be the best person we can possibly be.  We were not meant to stand still.  We were meant to grow and to move forward.  The pain we will experience in this life is one of the many things that we experience that helps us grow.  We have all been in so much pain at times that all we want it to do is stop.  We pray that the pain will go away, and when it does our faith is renewed, and we believe that God is wonderful and that He is always there for us.  When we pray and the pain does not go away, it is easy for us to believe that God is not there and we may even begin to lose faith.  

I have recently starting trying to look at pain in a different way.  I am trying my best to thank God for the pain. Believe me, I have failed many times.  I am an avid runner, and it is very important to me that I get to run.  I am a bit of a perfectionist too.  Actually, that is an understatement. I am an absolute perfectionist.  So, if I do not run the distance that I think I should, I feel like a failure.  I recently developed a pain in my left leg.  I am not sure what the cause of it is, but it is there nonetheless.  Running seems to aggravate it, and I have become frustrated.  I have tried everything.  I have taken time off from running, prayed for my leg, had other people pray for my leg, and pleaded with God to take the pain away.  Nothing seems to make a significant difference.  

Then I thought of Job in the Bible.  He experienced all sorts of terrible things, but he continued to thank God and praise Him anyway.  I decided that if Job could do it so could I.  So, I started thanking God for the pain in my leg.  My prayer was very simple, “Thank you for the pain in my leg and help me learn the lesson from this pain that you want me to learn.”  I would like to say that that took care of it and that the pain is gone, but it isn’t.  However, I look at the pain in a different way now.  I know that God is trying to teach me something.  Maybe He is trying to teach me to be more patient.  Maybe He is trying to teach me to have more faith.  Maybe He is trying to teach me that we all experience pain and that it is a fact of life.  I am not completely sure what He wants me to learn, but I am willing to learn it.  

I am able to run and the pain is still there, but it is not as bad as it was.  Now when I finish running, even though it is not as far as I would like to go, I am just thankful that I was able to run.  I am learning that it is not the distance of the run, but the fact that I can do it at all.  So, maybe pain is just a sign that we are growing.  I guess they are called growing pains for a reason.  I think we would all be better off to think of the pain we experience as a lesson and a way to grow closer to God and to have more faith in Him.  In the end, isn’t that all that really matters?  

We all experience pain and suffering, but it is not who we are.  We are far greater than the pain we experience, and God is always there to comfort us and help us learn for our pain. So, the next time you are in pain, think of Job and thank God in spite of the pain.  I believe it will help and you will begin to see the beauty and the gift in the pain.  This will lead to more peace in your life, and PEACE MATTERS.    

~Dan~

Life Lessons I Learned From my Grandma: On Her Own

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a very special relationship with my grandma.  She and I have had a close relationship all of my life.  We have spent a lot of time together laughing and talking about life.  My grandma turned 90 years old this week, and I believe that she has had an amazing life.  She has experienced many trials during her life, but she has faced them with a smile on her face, joy in her heart, and an unwavering faith in God.  I have learned so much from my grandma, and I believe you can too.  So, I have decided to commemorate her 90th birthday by sharing a few stories about my grandma’s life with you.  I hope these stories will show you how her faith has brought her through the difficult times that she has experienced.  I will be posting everyday this week and every post will be stories of how God has been with my grandma throughout her life.  I believe the stories will help you to see how God can work in all of our lives and how we can achieve peace through every experience we encounter with His help.  Having such a wonderful grandmother in my life has brought me immeasurable peace and PEACE MATTERS.  

On Her Own

On August 21, 1998, my grandpa, Norman Cutsinger, suffered a heart attack while mowing the lawn at the church that he and my grandma, Ruth Cutsinger, attended.  At first my grandpa seemed okay.  They took him to the local hospital and did some preliminary tests.  They decided to send him to a bigger hospital in St. Louis, Missouri for further evaluation and treatment. When he arrived in St. Louis the doctors decided to do a heart catheterization, which is a fairly routine procedure.  He said his good-byes to the family and went for the test.  Soon, the doctor came out and said that my grandpa had suffered another heart attack.  He was on life support and in a coma.  They said the likelihood of him waking up again was very slim.  My grandma had just recovered from colon cancer and now she was facing losing her husband.  They had been together for thirty-seven years after finally reconnecting in 1961.  My grandma sat with my grandpa for what turned out to be the last week of his life.  

Finally, on August 28th, the doctors told my grandma that there was no hope and that it was time to disconnect my grandpa from life support.  My grandma, being the strong person she is, accepted the doctors’ advice.  She sat with my grandpa for the last time as he drew his final breath.  I remember waiting for my grandma to come home after my grandpa had died.  I really didn’t know what to expect.  I had seen her go through a lot of trials in life but never something like this.  When she came through the door, there she was, with her sad, but familiar smile.  She once again had the strength of an army with her.  I know now her strength came from God and the angels that He had surrounding her that day.  She immediately began planning my grandpa’s funeral.  She knew what she had to do, and she was prepared to do it.  

While at the funeral, I sat once again, in amazement at my grandma.  She smiled and laughed and actually comforted other mourners.  She was a pillar of strength in the midst of the worst storm of her life.  You see my grandma had never been alone.  She was married at the age of 16, and she had never lived alone or even spent the night alone.  My grandparents owned two houses.  One house was on a lake and the other one was in the country on a busy highway.  Everyone knew that my grandma was afraid to stay by herself, and we did not know what she was going to do.  However, my grandma knew.  She was going to sell both houses and move to a small house in town.  Selling the lake house would be easy.  The houses on the lake sold quickly, and that is what happened.  The house on the highway was different.  People came to look at it, but no one seemed to be interested.  My grandma was becoming very frustrated and could not understand why the house was not selling.  She knew in her heart that she could not stay there.  Finally, one morning she surrendered it to God.  She told God that if He wanted her to stay in that house she would.  She let Him take control.  That is exactly what God was waiting for.  Three days later, her house sold.  

She immediately began looking for a house in town, which presented more frustrations.  All the houses in her price range needed too much work, and my grandma was not up to that.  My cousin, Tim, was building houses at the time, and he told her that he could build her a house that would fit her needs perfectly.  My grandma decided to take him up on his offer and began looking for a lot on which to build in town.  One day, she was driving around and God told her to drive down North Douglas Street.  My grandma argued with God and told Him that she did not want to go that way.  God insisted, and my grandma finally did as she was asked.  When she drove down the street, she found two lots for sale about which she had not known.  When she called her relator, she was told that a couple had tried to buy the lots for the full asking price; however, the owner would not sell the lots to them.  My grandma was undeterred.  She asked the relator to call the man and see if he would take less money for the lots.  The realtor did as she was asked and called my grandma back.  She said, “You are not going to believe this, but the owner said he would take $4,000.00 for the two lots.”  The asking price was $8,000.00.  The relator could not understand why he had had a change of heart, but my grandma knew why.  God intended those lots for her.  

Even after she bought the lots, people tried to tell her she was making a mistake.  They told her that it was not a good place to build, but my grandma again was undeterred.  She knew that God wanted her there, so she continued with her plans.  On May 1, 1999, my grandma moved into her new house.  

My grandpa had only been gone a few months, and my grandma had made a life change with what seemed to be little effort.  She had done so with the faith that God would take care of her just as He had done all her life.  She still lives in that house today and has always been at peace there, proving that when God leads us somewhere, even if other people think we are wrong, we will find peace.  

Peace is what God wants for all of us.  He wants us to trust Him and have faith that He has a plan.  He wants us to submit to His will and follow His lead.  He is often waiting for us to submit to Him.  Once we do, He can take over and work things out in His time.  Once we surrender to God, we will begin to experience peace.  If we allow God to be in control, then much of the worry and fear that we experience can be eliminated.  Faith is a scary thing, but we are always rewarded for having it, and that reward is peace.  Without peace in this life, we have nothing.  

So, the next time you are struggling and becoming impatient because you are waiting for something that has not yet happened, think of my grandma and hand it over to God.  Truly submit to His will.  Let Him be in control.  It will bring you a peace that goes far beyond your understanding, and PEACE MATTERS.   

~Dan~

This is one of my favorite pictures of my grandparents.  It was taken not long after they were married in a photo booth at a local carnival.  

Life Lessons I Learned From my Grandma: Colon Cancer

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a very special relationship with my grandma.  She and I have had a close relationship all of my life.  We have spent a lot of time together laughing and talking about life.  My grandma turned 90 years old this week, and I believe that she has had an amazing life.  She has experienced many trials during her life, but she has faced them with a smile on her face, joy in her heart, and an unwavering faith in God.  I have learned so much from my grandma, and I believe you can too.  So, I have decided to commemorate her 90th birthday by sharing a few stories about my grandma’s life with you.  I hope these stories will show you how her faith has brought her through the difficult times that she has experienced.  I will be posting everyday this week and every post will be stories of how God has been with my grandma throughout her life.  I believe the stories will help you to see how God can work in all of our lives and how we can achieve peace through every experience we encounter with His help.  Having such a wonderful grandmother in my life has brought me immeasurable peace and PEACE MATTERS.  

Thanks to Katie Couric and her late husband, a lot of attention has been brought to the diagnosis and treatment of colon cancer.  Colon cancer is the 3rd most diagnosed form of cancer and the 4th leading cause of cancer related deaths.  Early detection is crucial, and when detected early, colon cancer is 90% curable.  These facts and figures may seem unnecessary to the story that I am getting ready to relate to you, but they are important to the millions of people who will be diagnosed with colon cancer during their lifetime.   

The realness of colon cancer was brought into my life in October, 1997.  My grandma, Ruth Custsinger, had been plagued with pain in her side for most of the summer and early fall.  She was no stranger to pain, but this pain seemed different.  She was seventy-two years old, and she had been through cancer before.  She had spoken to her doctor about the pain, but he did not seem alarmed.  Colon cancer in its early form does not present pain.  However, my grandma knew something was wrong.  She insisted that her doctor schedule a colonoscopy for her.  He reluctantly did as she asked, and I believe it saved her life.  

You see my grandma did indeed have colon cancer.  I remember the day my mom told me. I thought to myself that my grandma had already been through so much.  We were all worried and scared.  All of us, that is, except my grandma.  She once again showed strength and faith.  I really think she was so relieved to find out that there was a reason for her pain.  She carried the pictures of her cancer in her purse and would show them to people.  It was as if she were proud, but I think it was her way of warning people of the dangers of colon cancer.  My grandma was scheduled for surgery, and the part of her colon containing the cancer was removed.  I went to visit her in the hospital after the surgery, and there she was lying in bed.  Her familiar smile and laugher filled the room.  She was completely at peace and didn’t seem worried at all.

I was going through a difficult time with my job.  I had just started a new teaching assignment and was away from home, and had a very difficult group of kids that year.  My grandma seemed more concern for me than herself.  After the surgery, she was told that the cancer was localized and small.  The doctors could not understand why she had been in pain, because the cancer was in its beginning stages.  Of course, my grandma knew differently.  God had allowed her to experience the pain so that she would have it checked out.  Had she not experienced the pain that every doctor told her she should not have felt, her story may have turned out quite differently.  My grandma was scheduled for chemotherapy, and she began it soon after the surgery.  As we all know, chemotherapy can be a very difficult treatment to go through, and my grandma had struggles to face with her treatment.  She endured those struggles with her characteristic strength and good humor.  

As I said before, I was dealing with my own issues, and my grandma was very aware of that.  She and I talked a lot on the phone while she was going through chemotherapy.  The treatment was keeping her from sleeping so she would call me.  She was so worried about me and praying that God would improve my situation.  I was worried about her and praying that God would heal her.  We were each going through our own struggles.  They were completely different, but they made us feel the same.  You see a trial is a trail.  It may look different, but the feelings are the same.  I find it amazing that in a time when I should have been comforting my grandma, she was comforting me.  I believe that God knew that she and I both needed something else to focus on while we were going through our own trials.  My grandma didn’t focus as much on her cancer because she was thinking of me, and I didn’t focus as much on my own struggle because I was thinking of her.  

God wants us to serve our fellowman.  We have each been given that job.  We are supposed to support each other, pray for each other, and build each other up.  When we do so, we not only bless the person we are helping, we bless ourselves as well.  God knew that my grandma and I needed each other.  The reason was not even remotely the same, but He knew that we needed to comfort each other.  I know that my grandma certainly comforted me during that time, and I hope that in some way I comforted her too.  I cannot express to you how important it is that we help each other.  

That is what God wants.  He has given all of us unique talents and gifts to better equip us to do His work.  Even when we are struggling ourselves, God wants us to reach out to others and help them.  I truly believe it is part of the healing process and that it is a win-win situation.  

We never know what a phone call, email, text, or card can do to lift someone’s spirit.  We all need to know that we are not alone and that someone identifies with our struggles.  Of course we always have God.  He will never leave us, and He will always comfort us, but He wants us to rely on the people He has placed in our lives too.  

So, the next time you are going through a struggle and you think you are alone and the only one having a difficult time, think of my grandma.  She could have turned inwardly and been only concerned about herself, but she reached out to others, and in the process helped herself.  God truly wants us to be at peace, and He has given us so many ways to achieve it.  Helping others is one enormous way of receiving and giving that peace.  So, go out and help someone.  It will bring you and the other person a lot of peace, and PEACE MATTERS.  

~Dan~

One last thing . . . if you are experiencing any kind of issues with your colon or experiencing any abdominal pain, see your doctor.  If your doctor does not seem concerned, see another doctor.  Insist on having a colonoscopy.  It could very possibly save your life.      

This picture of my grandma and me was taken on her 89th birthday.  

Life Lessons I Learned From my Grandma: Breast Cancer

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a very special relationship with my grandma.  She and I have had a close relationship all of my life.  We have spent a lot of time together laughing and talking about life.  My grandma turned 90 years old this week, and I believe that she has had an amazing life.  She has experienced many trials during her life, but she has faced them with a smile on her face, joy in her heart, and an unwavering faith in God.  I have learned so much from my grandma, and I believe you can too.  So, I have decided to commemorate her 90th birthday by sharing a few stories about my grandma’s life with you.  I hope these stories will show you how her faith has brought her through the difficult times that she has experienced.  I will be posting everyday this week and every post will be stories of how God has been with my grandma throughout her life.  I believe the stories will help you to see how God can work in all of our lives and how we can achieve peace through every experience we encounter with His help.  Having such a wonderful grandmother in my life has brought me immeasurable peace and PEACE MATTERS.  

Breast Cancer

In 1980, 640,000 women in America were diagnosed with breast cancer. Unfortunately my grandma, Ruth Cutsinger, was among them.  It all started on July 4, 1980.  My grandparents always had a big family reunion at their lake house to celebrate the day.  It was a big event, and my grandparents planned most of the summer for the special day.  My grandma was always very busy in the days leading up to the 4th.  On the morning of the 4th, she was getting ready to start her busy day when she found a lump in her breast.  She was fifty-four years old.  We all know enough about breast cancer to know how terrifying a discovery this must have been for her.  I am sure her mind began to race, and the fear of the unknown set in very quickly.  I can only imagine the thoughts that raced through her mind that morning.  “I can’t be sick”, “I am sure it is nothing”, or “What am I going to do now?” may have been some of the first thoughts she had.  

However, my grandma, being the strong woman she is, went on with her day.  She hosted the party that everyone was expecting, and she was happy, smiling, and laughing most of the day.  After most of the guests had left, my grandma took my mom, Darlene, in the bathroom and showed her the lump.  I can only imagine the fear my mom felt that evening as she realized that her mom might be sick.  I am sure she was gripped with the realization that she may have to give her mom up to this dreaded disease.  However, my mom, being the strong woman she is, rallied around my grandma, and they devised a plan.  My grandma immediately went to see Dr. Fox.  He did some preliminary tests and then scheduled her for a biopsy.  He told her if it turned out to be cancer, they would take care of it while she was under anesthesia.  

The day of the biopsy, my grandma went into the hospital not knowing what her fate was.  She would not know until she woke up.  She could wake to find that the lump was benign and that she was fine, or she could wake to discover that she did indeed have breast cancer.  When my grandma did wake up, her worst fears were realized.  She did in fact have breast cancer and Dr. Fox had performed a radical mastectomy.  He also removed several of her lymph nodes because they showed signs of cancer as well.  It would have been very easy for my grandma to become discouraged and lose faith, but she had been through tough times before, and God had always been with her, so she faced this trial with the same dignity with which she had faced all the others.  

She also faced it with humor.  This is something which my grandma does extremely well.  My mom tells the story of how she was at my grandma’s house helping her recover from her surgery.  My mom made the bed and left one of the pillows off so that my grandma could use it on the couch.  When my grandma walked by the bedroom, she dryly said, “It looks like that bed had a mastectomy.”  When my grandma went to be fitted with a prosthetic, she did so with a sense of humor.  My mom says that she and my grandma laughed uncontrollably that day.  My mom said she sat in amazement watching my grandma.  Here she was a relatively young woman who had just lost her breast and she was laughing and making jokes.  Her actions that day brought my mom a lot of comfort, and my grandma turned what could have been a traumatic day into a good memory that my mom has always remembered.  

God blessed my grandma in so many ways, but he blessed her with a sense of humor that has sustained her through some of her most difficult times.  He blessed her with the ability to smile through the pain and comfort others when she was the one who really needed to be comforted.  In so doing, she received more comfort than anyone else could have given her.  Her positive attitude was contagious, and no one could be sad or worried when they were around her.  God had given my grandma His hope and peace long before she had to endure this newest trial.  He had taught her through example that He was in control and that all she had to do was lay her worries at His feet.  

This is what God wants all of us to do.  He wants us to face each challenge with faith, hope, and peace.  He wants us to trust Him and let Him be in control.  He wants us to comfort others and be an example of what a person who possesses His peace acts like.  Nothing is too big for God and in turn, nothing is too big for us if we have God with us.  He promises that He will never leave us or forsake us, even in our final hour.  He will carry us through the trials in our lives and will give us the peace that will sustain us.  When we have God’s peace, we can truly face anything.  We can face every trial with the knowledge that He is in control and it will make those trials not seem so big and, we will be an example to other people.  Thankfully, my grandma made a full recovery from her breast cancer, and it did not return.  She is 90 years old now and is still living her life with a smile on her face, joy in her heart, and faith in her spirit.  She would face other trials, but her faith would not waiver.  

So, the next time you face a challenge that you think seems too big to overcome, think of my grandma.  Put a smile on your face, make a joke, and have faith that God is in control.  Believe that all things are possible through Him and let Him lead the way.  It will bring you peace even in your darkest hour, and PEACE MATTERS.   

~Dan~

Life Lessons I Learned From my Grandma: A Love Story

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a very special relationship with my grandma.  She and I have had a close relationship all of my life.  We have spent a lot of time together laughing and talking about life.  My grandma turned 90 years old this week, and I believe that she has had an amazing life.  She has experienced many trials during her life, but she has faced them with a smile on her face, joy in her heart, and an unwavering faith in God.  I have learned so much from my grandma, and I believe you can too.  So, I have decided to commemorate her 90th birthday by sharing a few stories about my grandma’s life with you.  I hope these stories will show you how her faith has brought her through the difficult times that she has experienced.  I will be posting everyday this week and every post will be stories of how God has been with my grandma throughout her life.  I believe the stories will help you to see how God can work in all of our lives and how we can achieve peace through every experience we encounter with His help.  Having such a wonderful grandmother in my life has brought me immeasurable peace and PEACE MATTERS.  

Norman Cutsinger

My grandma, Ruth Cutsinger, is 90 years old, and she has been in love with the same man all of her life.  Some of you may be thinking that seems pretty normal, but the man she has been in love with all these years is not my grandpa.  Kind of changes things, doesn’t it?  Just sit back and listen to her story.  

When my grandma was very young, she met a boy at church.  His name was Norman Cutsinger.  She loved him very much, and he loved her too.  They really thought they would get married one day, but you see, Norman’s family didn’t think my grandma was good enough for him.  My grandma came from a very poor family and Norman’s family looked down on them.  It didn’t stop him from loving my grandma, but it made things very difficult.  Norman loved his grandma very much, and she advised him to stay away from my grandma, and then his mother died during childbirth when he was 18.  These events greatly affected Norman, and he decided to move to Colorado to live with his aunt.  Not only did he move to Colorado, he married someone else.  This devastated my grandma.  She could not understand what happened.  She thought that Norman loved her like she loved him.  She was unaware of the pressure that he was getting from his family, so she thought she was the problem.  She thought she was not good enough to love.  

After Norman got married and moved away, my grandma followed suit and married my grandpa.  My grandpa was a good man, but his relationship with my grandma was never very good.  I think in some ways, he could never be Norman, so they were doomed from the start.  They tried to make a life together and stuck it out through the good times and bad.  They had three children, the oldest a boy, Paul Jerry, died before he was two.  Then my aunt Pauletta was born and finally my mom, Darlene.  When my grandma was pregnant with my mom, Norman moved back.  You see, his marriage had not been good either, and after trying to make things work for several years, he is his wife divorced, and he moved back home.  My grandma saw him one day, but at that time she was still married to my grandpa, and she was getting ready to have another baby.  

Eleven years later, in 1960, my grandparents decided the best thing for them to do was end their 18-year marriage.  My grandma took my aunt and mom and moved into an apartment.  My grandma did not have any money, but there were people placed in her path to assist her.  Her mother kept telling my grandma that she needed to call Norman, but she was afraid and hesitated.  Her mother kept insisting and even said she would pay for the phone call.  So, one day, my grandma mustered all her courage and called Norman.  When he answered, she asked him if he remembered her.  He said yes, but he told her she was several years late.  My grandma immediately thought that she had made a mistake, and that she should not have called Norman; however, he told her that he was still single.  She told him they should get together sometime.  Norman said that maybe they should, but he was very non-committal.  

Several weeks went by and my grandma grew very impatient and was beginning to lose hope.  Then one day while she was cleaning the floors in the apartment and not looking her best, there was a knock on the door.  The date was April 1, 1961 and that knock would change all of our lives.  When she answered the door, there stood Norman.  Everything seemed to fit into place all at once.  He had come back into her life after all those years, and they still very much loved each other.  They picked up right where they had left off and were married on April 20, 1961.  

This drastically changed my grandma, aunt, and mom’s life.  They had a stable, loving home, they had plenty of money, and they had a man who loved them more than anything in the world.  The events of that day in April changed my life too.  Had Norman not come into my grandma’s life, my mom and dad would have never met, and I would have never been born.  I would have not known what it was like to have a grandpa, and what a grandpa he was.  No kid could have ever had a better one.  There were no steps in our family, just love.  My grandma was married to Norman until he died in 1998.  They had a wonderful life together, and he took care of her.  In fact, he is still taking care of her, and has made sure that she is comfortable and secure in her old age.  It is funny how life works out sometimes.  There are many times that we may find what we need when we are young, but we are not ready to receive it.  If we did receive it, we would not appreciate it.  Sometimes we have to experience how difficult things can be when we go the wrong direction in our lives to appreciate how right everything feels when we go the right direction.  

God teaches us these lessons everyday.  We have all wanted something immediately.  When we do not get it, we do not understand why.  It upsets us, challenges our faith, and makes us question God.  It may be something that we need, but God is not ready to give it to us.  It’s not that He wants to be unkind, but He wants us to be patient.  There is a lesson in the waiting, and God wants to teach us that.  There is also a lesson in the receiving of a gift after wanting it so long.  If we did not wait and work for something, we would not appreciate it as much. We would have missed some of the blessings and faith builders that were on the path to finally having what we had wanted all along.  God wants us to be patient.  He wants us to have faith in Him and truly believe that His timing is perfect.  He wants us to have the desires of our hearts, but he wants us to be in the position to receive them and appreciate them.  He wants us to see that He aligned our path perfectly to receive the gift.  

So, if you are waiting for or wanting something, and you cannot understand why God has not provided it yet, think of my grandma.  She wanted something for most of her life, but God was not ready for her to receive it.  When she was ready to receive it, she was older and wiser and could truly appreciate that gift.  She could see God’s hand in leading her to the gift.  It made her a stronger person, it taught her to be patient, and it strengthened her walk with God.  It also brought her unimaginable peace and gave her a firm foundation to face the trials in her life that were yet to come.  So, be patient with God.  Let Him lead the way.  Trust His timing and get ready to receive the peace that He wants all of us to have because PEACE MATTERS.  

~Dan ~

This picture of my Grandma Ruth and Grandpa Norman was taken after their wedding in 1961.  They were finally back together and they were both so happy.  

Life Lessons I Learned From my Grandma: The Loss of a Son

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a very special relationship with my grandma.  She and I have had a close relationship all of my life.  We have spent a lot of time together laughing and talking about life.  My grandma turns 90 years old today, and I believe that she has had an amazing life.  She has experienced many trials during her life, but she has faced them with a smile on her face, joy in her heart, and an unwavering faith in God.  I have learned so much from my grandma, and I believe you can too.  So, I have decided to commemorate her 90th birthday by sharing a few stories about my grandma’s life with you.  I hope these stories will show you how her faith has brought her through the difficult times that she has experienced.  I will be posting everyday this week and every post will be stories of how God has been with my grandma throughout her life.  I believe the stories will help you to see how God can work in all of our lives and how we can achieve peace through every experience we encounter with His help.  Having such a wonderful grandmother in my life has brought me immeasurable peace and PEACE MATTERS.  

Paul Jerry

My grandma, Ruth Cutsinger, married my grandpa, Paul Van Eckhout, on February 14, 1942 when she was only sixteen years old.  She married my grandpa right after WW II started.  It was a scary time in the history of our country, but it has often been said that that generation was the bravest of any that has ever lived, and I believe that is true. 

Not long after my grandparents were married, my grandma become pregnant.  She gave birth to the first of her three children on May 30th, 1943.  The baby born that day was a boy whom they named Paul Jerry Van Eckhout.  My grandma was overjoyed with the birth of her son.  He was a big boy from the start, and as the months went by he continued to grow.  My grandpa was stationed overseas, so my grandma and Paul Jerry spent a lot of time with my great-grandma.  During the winter of 1945, Paul Jerry became ill.  He didn’t seem to be getting better, and the doctor could not explain why.  The doctor seemed to think that Paul Jerry had a cold, but my grandma felt differently.  She worried about Paul Jerry, but he slowly seemed to be getting better and he was growing, so she trusted that everything would be okay.  

On February 27, 1945, Paul Jerry was sitting on the floor playing.  He was picking up clothespins and placing them in a Mason jar.  He stopped playing and reached for my great-grandma.  She picked him up, and he died in her arms.  I cannot even begin to imagine my grandma’s pain and grief.  Here she was a 19-year-old girl.  Her husband was away fighting in a war from which he may not return home, and her son had just died in front of her.  My grandma had to bury Paul Jerry by herself since my Grandpa was unable to come home for the funeral.  She did have her mother with her and I am sure that helped, but she had to feel so alone and devastated as she laid her little boy to rest.  They say that losing a child is one of the worst events that anyone can experience.  There seems to be no meaningful explanation when something like that happens.  

I am sure that my grandma questioned why God would take Paul Jerry away from her.  I am sure she felt alone and that her life was over.  I am sure she struggled with what God’s plan was for her life at that point.  She may have even been angry with God for forcing her to go through such a terrible trail, but she did go on.  She showed the strength that the rest of her generation had, and she kept going because she had been taught to do so.  She kept going because she had been taught to trust God and to have faith in His plan for her life.   The events of that day in 1945 have haunted my grandma all of her life.  She is 90 years old, and she has never gotten over losing Paul Jerry, but she has continued to live her life and, God has certainly blessed her for that.  She has continued to praise God and do His work in spite of the many trials she has had to face.  That is not to say that she has not questioned God and wondered why Paul Jerry had to die.  

She did make peace with it one Christmas Day, however.  It was in the early nineties, almost fifty years after Paul Jerry died, and she was praying.  My grandma, like all of us, gets a little sentimental on Christmas and she was thanking God for all the blessings in her life.  She began thinking about Paul Jerry and wondering why God had taken him from her.  God spoke to her and told my grandma that had Paul Jerry lived, he would have been the right age to have to fight in the Vietnam War.  She knew how terrible that would have been for her and she would have had to deal with the worry of her son not returning from a war.  I am sure my grandma still would have rather had Paul Jerry with her though, and then God reminded her about how many grandsons she had.  You see the next two children my grandma had were girls.  She never had another son, and she often wondered why, but God had blessed her with five grandsons.  God said to her that day, “I may have taken Paul Jerry from you, but I gave you five boys to help take his place.” 

I remember listening to my grandma tell this story that Christmas morning and how she was filled with joy at her revelation.  I couldn’t help but be reminded of Job in the Bible.  God allowed terrible things to happen to Job, but he praised God anyway and God blessed him with far more than he had ever lost.  My grandma continued to praise God when she lost Paul Jerry and God blessed her with far more than she had ever had.  That is what God wants all of us to do.  He wants us to trust Him and have faith that He knows what is best for us.  Even when we cannot understand why something so terrible could happen to us, he wants us to praise Him anyway and give Him thanks for everything that happens in our lives, the good and the bad, and He will bless us for it.  

So as you go through your daily life and things happen that you do not understand, no matter how small or big, I want you to remember my grandma and the millions of people like her.  I want all of us to remember that God is in control and that we should continue to praise Him no matter what trials may come our way.  If we can praise Him in all things, the love He has for us will sustain us and give us peace, and PEACE MATTERS.   

~Dan~

Delays

Who of us has not experienced delays in one form or another? They often seem to come at the worst moment when we are stretched for time.  Delays can come in many forms.  We can be stopped by a train, get behind a slow driver, there can be a long line at the grocery store, someone can be paying with change, or an elderly person can be having a difficult time writing a check.  When we get in these situations, we often become frustrated.  We can feel our blood pressure rising, and we can feel ourselves getting angry.  We have put such an emphasis on time, and our lives have become so busy that we often do not allow ourselves enough time to get to our desired location without experiencing stress.  

God does not want us to have stress in our lives.  I know that stress seems to be an unavoidable part of life, but how we deal with stress will help us manage it.  God wants us to have peace.  He wants us to have peace in every situation that we encounter.  He does not want us to become angry and wants us to deal with delays with a peaceful heart.  This sounds impossible, doesn’t it? 

But consider this.  There will be at least one time in your life, when a delay will keep you safe.  As we all know, life is very fragile.  Our lives can change in the blink of an eye.  None of us really knows how close we have come to being involved in a horrific accident had we arrived on the scene a second earlier.  The delays we experience may indeed be saving our lives.  When you think of it that way, it kind of puts a whole new spin on things doesn’t it?  

So the next time you are experiencing a delay in your day, whatever it may be, stay calm, breathe easy and do not get angry. Smile to yourself and think, “This delay may be saving my life.”  It will put everything in a different perspective, and it will bring you peace in an otherwise stressful situation.  It has been said that God works in mysterious ways, and delays are just one aspect of that mystery.  When we are at peace, we can focus more on the good in life.  We can go through our day with a cheerful heart and overcome the daily stresses that we encounter.  

So the next time someone delays you, think to yourself, “Thank you for delaying me today. You may have just saved my life.”  Being grateful for delays and understanding that they may very well be doing you a favor will bring even more peace to your life, and PEACE MATTERS.  

~Dan~

Peace

This world has been trying to find peace for centuries.  In fact, every human on this planet has spent most of his or her life searching for peace.  We have fought for it, we have protested for it, we have written about it, we have sung about it, and we have prayed for it.  It seems that we strive for peace, but we never quite get it.  I believe that peace has to start within each person.  Once a person achieves peace, it can spread to another person and another person and so on.  The problem with achieving peace is that there are many outside forces working against us.  There is so much negativity in our world that it is difficult to find peace.  We find ourselves being dragged down by the bad news in the world and in our lives.  However, true peace means that we can see or experience the bad and still be at peace.  I look at peace like a security blanket that we can wrap ourselves in.  

Another way to look at peace is to use the egg drop challenge from science class that many of us have done as an example.  For those of you who do not know what I am referring to, it is the assignment in which an egg is dropped from a high elevation with the goal of not breaking it. The egg is wrapped in all sorts of soft materials.  It is sometimes even given a parachute to ease its landing. Once the egg has been protected, it is dropped, and if it does not break, the experiment is considered a success.  The peace that we can get from God is very much like the soft material that we wrap the egg in.  God wants to wrap us in his peace and even though bad things may happen, his peace will insulate us and keep us from breaking.  It sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?  

You may be wondering how you can achieve the type of peace where the bad and negative things of this world do not break you.  The first and most logical answer is to lean on God and to trust Him and let Him be in control.  So many times we think that we are in control and that we can achieve peace on our own.  We have to work at achieving peace.  We first have to surrender our problems to God.  That is what He wants, and that is why He is there.  We have to trust that He is with us and that He is in control.  We have to stop trying to control everything in our lives.  We have to stop fighting to get our way and find the peace that comes from giving the control to God.  We also have to thank God for all of our blessings.  A grateful heart is a peaceful heart.  If we begin to be grateful for all the things that bring us happiness, we will start to feel the peace that God wants for our lives.  

To achieve peace we have to trust God.  We have to stop trying to control everything and everybody, and we have to have a grateful heart and thank God for all the blessings that we have in our lives.  Sounds simple doesn’t it?  It is harder than it appears to be, but we can do it.  We will have to start small and we will have to train our brains to think in a different way, but it can be done.  All God really wants is for us to have hope and peace.  He wants us to trust Him and to let him be in control.  He wants us to thank Him for the good and the bad in our lives.  When we do this, the blanket of peace that He wants to give us will be ours and the security of that peace will make our lives so much better.  If we can achieve peace within ourselves, it will spread and it will keep spreading and soon maybe peace will dominate our lives instead of being a goal that we never achieve.  I know that I am going to try a little harder to have this type of peace in my life and I hope you will do the same because PEACE MATTERS.    

~Dan~

The Puzzle

I believe that life is like one great big puzzle.  When we are in our mother’s womb, all the pieces are neatly packed away and waiting to be put together.  Everything is taken care of for us and we have no worries.  When we are born, this is the time that the pieces are dumped out on the table.  We spend the first several years of our lives turning the pieces over and attempting to organize them.  Thankfully, this is the time that our parents are helping us.  They help us understand that life comes in pieces and they help us turn each piece over so that we can see that there is a purpose for each piece.  

As we continue to grow, each of us realizes that the pieces are meant to be put together and that each piece only fits in its proper place.  We start searching for how to place each piece together.  In the beginning it is more of a game, and we do it haphazardly.  As we mature the need to make each of the pieces fit together to make a whole begins to grow stronger.  We are no longer satisfied with just getting two pieces to fit together.  We want the entire puzzle to make an image that will tell us the direction of our lives.  We often want to jump ahead and finish the puzzle before it is time.  We become frustrated if the pieces do not fit together easily and quickly.  

Often we elicit the help of others to make the pieces fit.  Sometimes these people are well-intentioned, and they do help us make some of the pieces fit together.  Other times, however, these people are not helpful.  They encourage us to place the wrong pieces together in an attempt to force them to fit.  Sometimes these people attempt to take some of our pieces and try to make them fit into their own puzzle.  This causes us to lose some of our pieces, and we realize that with these people in our lives the puzzle will never be complete.  Often when people encounter such struggles, they give up, and the puzzle sits incomplete on the table for many years.  

Eventually, we realize that we need to resume working on the puzzle.  We begin again, sometimes having to start all over.  We find all of the missing pieces and slowly begin to place them back together.  As each piece comes together, we can start to see the direction that our life is supposed to take.  As the puzzle nears completion and the number of pieces left on the table begins to dwindle, we start having confidence that we are doing the right thing.  It is our job to keep working on our puzzle and not to get in a hurry.  Soon, working on our puzzle becomes something we look forward to doing every single day.  It may take years to get the puzzle to fit together, but we become okay with that and realize that we should celebrate each time we get a piece to fit in its proper place.  We realize that the puzzle is a lesson for us.  It teaches us to be patient, it teaches us to try to make each piece fit and when it doesn’t, it teaches us to keep working.  You see if two pieces do not fit together perfectly, the puzzle will not be right.  

We can apply this principle to our own lives.  We sometimes get in a hurry and want the secret of life to be revealed to us.  When it isn’t, we become discouraged and want to quit or force the pieces together.  God wants us to be patient and to lean on Him.  He will help us put the pieces together, and He will bring people into our lives to help us figure out the difficult pieces.  He does not want us to get ahead of ourselves.  If we completed the puzzle in one day, we would not appreciate the journey and we would not learn anything from it.  We also could never help someone with his or her puzzle if we did not learn anything from putting our own puzzle together.  

So, take your time.  Have patience and continue working on your puzzle even when you get frustrated. Look to the people who have been placed in your life to help you.  Listen to your heart and rely on God.  With that combination, your puzzle will begin to fit together and you will have peace, and PEACE MATTERS.    

~Dan~

Taking the Sting Out of Death

Death is something that we all have to deal with.  We will be forced to deal with the death of someone we love and we will ultimately have to deal with our own death.   Many of us spend our entire lives fearing death.  It drives us to take better care of ourselves, it drives us to avoid dangerous activities, and it drives us to try to get as much done as possible.  Death is an unavoidable fact of life.  That doesn’t mean that we should not try to take care of ourselves, avoid dangers, or try to do as much with our lives as we can, but we have to make peace with the fact that we are going to be touched by death.  

For those of us who believe in God and have faith that there is more beyond this life, death is a little less frightening.  However, many of us still fear it, not only for ourselves, but also for the people we love.  We have all lost someone to death, and often we cannot understand why we had to lose the person we love.  The thing that we all need to remember even when we are facing a death is that God has a plan.  Like many of God’s plans, it is often difficult for us to understand why He chooses to do what He does.  The thing is, all of us have been allotted a certain amount of time on this earth.  Every living thing will eventually die.  Each person’s life span is different.  Some people are meant to live for many, many years and some are meant to live for only a day or even hours.  It is natural for us to question God’s judgement when we deal with the death of a loved one; however, it is very important for us to remember that God has a plan. Even if we cannot fully understand it at the time, God can give us peace even when we lose someone close to us.   

Even when we can have peace over the death of a loved one, we find ourselves mourning the person and missing him or her.  That is very natural and normal, but we have to remember that death is not final.  It is not the end of anything; it is actually just the beginning.  Heaven is a very real place.  It is full of the people we love.  They are beyond happy, and they are content and fulfilled.  All of the struggles they faced on this earth are behind them, and they have found the joy that we all seek.  Not only are they filled with joy, but they will be waiting for us when it is our turn to experience eternity.  I believe that we will know each other in Heaven, and we will spend eternity with the people we love and we will never be apart again.  

We use this knowledge to bring us comfort when people die, but many times we forget it when we experience the loss of a loved one.  I am not saying that we should not mourn someone who dies, but we have to have faith that they are truly in a better place and that we will see them again.  God has promised us an eternity of joy and peace, and we can all receive that.  God’s promise of eternal life truly does take the sting out of death.  

When dealing with death we must have faith.  It sounds simple, yet many of us struggle with it every day.  We have to put our trust in God and His promises to us.  We have to believe that God is truly an awesome God and that He can give us peace, even when we are experiencing the death of a loved one.  We have to allow Him to be in control and we have to let Him guide our path.  If we can do this, we will have a newfound peace and PEACE MATTERS.  

~Dan~

Patience

Patience is something that I struggle with on a daily basis.  It seems I am always anticipating the next event, and I am anxious for it to arrive.  I tend to count the days on the calendar waiting for the day I have marked in red.  I tend to live in the future more than I should.  As I have gotten older, I have realized that most of us are very similar.  We may come in different packages, but our feelings are generally the same.  With this knowledge, I am fairly confident that many of you struggle with the inability to be patient and not live in the future.  Am I correct?  I thought so.  The question becomes how do we become more patient and live in the moment?  

I read a quote recently that said, “Don’t think about what can happen in a month.  Don’t think about what can happen in a year.  Just focus on the 24 hours in front of you and do what you can to get closer to where you want to be.”  God wants all of us to be at peace.  He wants us to enjoy our lives and realize that every single day is a blessing.  We cannot come to this realization if we are constantly thinking about the future and not enjoying the day that we have been given.  We can miss out on so many blessings and miracles that we encounter during our day if we are only looking to the future.  

It basically comes down to trust.  God has a plan for all of us.  He will allow that plan to unfold in His time.  We cannot do anything to make that plan unfold any quicker than He intends.  We truly have to let God be in control of everything in our lives, even the future.  We have to be patient and trust that He will lead us to the events that we anticipate in His own time.  When we have trust and patience, we will have more peace in our lives, and peace is the ultimate goal for all of us.   

I have a prayer that I say everyday.  God has given me several prayers to say for different situations, and they have helped me tremendously.  The prayer is, “God, bless me with your perfect peace and patience as you lay the path before my feet.”  I am trying to say this prayer whenever I am focusing too much on the future and not being patient with how events are unfolding in my life.  I truly believe it will help all of us if we will say this simple prayer.   

So, you see, I know how hard it is to be patient.  We want what we want when we want it, and we do not want to wait.  We have to wait, and while we are waiting we have to be patient and have trust.  We have to surrender everything to God and let Him be in control.  When we do this we will have more peace in our lives, and PEACE MATTERS.  

~Dan~

The Storm Has Passed . . . Now What?

We have all experienced trials and storms in our lives.  They were terrible events that we had to walk through.  When we think of storms in our lives, it is easy to compare them to a tornado.  When a tornado is barreling down on us all we can think about is surviving it.  Imagine looking out your window and seeing a tornado coming straight for your house.  What is your first thought?  Is it “I love my house and I love my possessions” or it is “I love my family and pets and I want everyone to remain safe”?   The only thing we can think about is how to protect ourselves and the ones we love.  

When the tornado passes and we realize we have survived, we are very relieved.  We are not thinking about all of the things we lost during the storm.  We look around and see that all of the people we love survived, and we are so thankful that all we can do is get down on our knees and thank God for saving us.  A few days after the storm has passed, we start looking around and we realize just how much we have lost.  We see the mess that the tornado has left behind, and we may become discouraged.  It is not that we are not thankful that God delivered us from the terror of the tornado, but we realize that we have a lot of clean up to do, and it is at this point that we sometimes begin to question God.  

Storms of life are much like a tornado.  We see the storm barreling down on us, and all we want to do is survive it.  We pray to God for His protection.  Once the storm passes, we are so thankful that we narrowly escaped that we get down on our knees and thank God for delivering us.  Soon we realize that the storm of life has left us with a mess that we have to clean up.  The amount of clean up depends on the magnitude of the storm.  Some storms in life only take a few days to clean up.  Others may take months or even years to clean up.  

It is during this time that we need God the most.  It was easy to cry out to Him when the storm was raging, but once the storm has passed, we don’t always depend on Him as much as we should.  We acknowledge that He saved us, but now we start questioning why He allowed the storm to come in the first place.  We may even start questioning our own wisdom in how we handled the storm.  We still realize how blessed we are and how thankful we are that God protected us, but perhaps not as much as we should be.  We want the clean up to be instant.  We want God to perform a miracle to get us back on the path.   We forget that God is still working in our lives and that He is right there helping us clean up the mess that the storm left behind.  We had faith in Him when the storm was coming, but we sometimes lose our faith once the storm has passed.  

God wants our faith in Him to be just as strong after the storm has passed as it was during the storm.  God wants us to give all of our burdens to Him.  He doesn’t want our main focus to be the storm. He wants us to focus on what the storm and the ensuing clean up means for our lives.  He wants us to see His hand in the storm and in the new life that the storm will ultimately bring for us.  Look at it this way; He brought us through the storm, so surely He can bring us through the clean up.  In fact, we should be in an even better position to hear from Him and depend on Him.  

The peace after a storm is the sweetest form of peace there is, and it is during the time after the storm that we can strengthen our walk with God.  We can shed all the worries and strife of our pre-storm lives and look forward to a new life post-storm that has been blessed by God.  It is a life that will be full of a newfound hope and peace that only He can provide.  It is a life full of new possibilities that would have never been possible had the storm not occurred.  The storms in life are not meant to destroy us, but they often redefine us and draw us closer to God.    

So, the next time you are going through a storm, rely on God as you always have, but remember to rely on Him even after the initial danger of the storm has passed.  It is during this quiet and transitional time that the most valuable lessons can be learned and that a new sense of peace will emerge and PEACE MATTERS.    

~Dan~

Loving Yourself

All of our lives we have all been taught that we should love one another.  We have been taught this in our homes, by our churches, and in our schools.  We have been taught that it is the key to our happiness and that it will bring peace to the world.  While this is completely true and a very valuable lesson to learn, we often leave one person out, ourselves.  Many of us have never been taught that we should love ourselves.  My grandma once told me that we can never love someone until we first love ourselves.  When she told me this, I realized that I had really never thought about loving myself.  As the years have gone by, I have realized how important this is.  God does want us to love others.  He thinks it is very important, but He wants us to love ourselves too.  After all, He created us and if we do not love ourselves, it makes Him very sad.  

Many of us have been taught that if we love ourselves too much that we will become conceited and only think about ourselves.  We obviously want to avoid that, but there is nothing wrong with loving yourself and thinking that you are a good person.  We are supposed to be an example to the rest of the world.  We are supposed to show others how to live by example.  How can we do that if we do not love ourselves?  

We are often our own worst critic. We never think what we do is good enough.  We never think we look good enough, work hard enough, or are talented enough.  God made us in His image, and He gave all of us unique and wonderful qualities that He did not give anyone else.  He wants us to use those qualities and gifts to serve Him and our fellow man.  When we go around being critical of ourselves and thinking that we do not measure up, we cannot be a service to God or others.  Often God will ask us to do things to serve Him or other people.  If we do not have the confidence that we should, we will not listen to Him or in many cases we will tell him that we are not capable of doing what He is asking us to do. When we do not obey the voice of God when He speaks to us, we are not only denying someone else a blessing, but we are missing out on a blessing ourselves.   

You see when we follow God and do what He asks He will bless us.  So, if we do not love ourselves and feel confident in our abilities, we cannot be of service to others.  Sometimes God asks us to do things that are difficult for us.  He wants to challenge us because through those challenges, we grow.  It builds our confidence, and it helps us appreciate the gifts that we have.  We realize that we do have a purpose and that God can and will use us to serve Him, help others, and in turn help ourselves.  

So, the next time you are feeling like you are not good enough or you feel your confidence failing, look yourself in the mirror and say, “God created me in His own image.  He has given me gifts and talents that no one else has, and I can be a service to God and my fellow man.”  I believe that if we can do this and really believe it, it will make us better people.  It will put us in a better position to answer God’s call, which will bring us joy and peace, and PEACE MATTERS.     

~Dan~

Having a Positive Attitude

Having a positive attitude while living in this world is essential.  While it is essential, it is often difficult to maintain a positive outlook.  We are bombarded with negative news all day long.  We cannot turn on the television, the radio, read the newspaper or a magazine without hearing or reading some bad news.  Be that as it may, we can still have a positive attitude.  A positive attitude starts with us.  It is something that in the beginning we will have to make a conscience effort to do.  

Recently, I have been trying to have a more positive outlook on life.  Some days I am more successful than others.  One thing that I am trying to do is to be more grateful.  I believe that a grateful heart will see things more positively.  Each morning when I wake, the first thing I do is to thank God for the beautiful day and for giving me another day to live my life.  This is something that I used to do all the time a few years back, but I stopped doing it due to difficult situations in my life.  I realize now just how much good it did me.  If our first thought of the day is positive and one of gratitude, then we have a better chance of maintaining that positive attitude throughout the day.  

Another thing that I am trying to do is to laugh more.  Sometimes this may mean that I am the only one laughing. Second and third graders do not seem to get my sense of humor, but it doesn’t matter. Laughing makes me feel better.  Plus, in this life, there is always something to laugh about.  My grandma often says, “Garbage in, garbage out.”  It is something that she says so often that I have gotten used to hearing it and really didn’t think much about it, but when we stop and examine those words, we will realize that there is a lot of truth in them.  If we allow the negativity of the world to cause us to have a negative attitude, it will undoubtedly show in our interactions with others.   

We all know people who are always positive or always negative.  If you take a minute and watch those people, you will soon realize that the positive person often chooses to surround himself with other positive people and the negative person often chooses to surround himself with other negative people.  Our attitude is contagious.  Something else my grandma always says is, “Love them to death.”  I believe that she means if you are positive with a negative person, her or she will have no choice but to eventually become positive too.  

I recently went to my niece’s production of Peter Pan.  While the show was very good, I was struck by one scene.  It was the scene where Peter is teaching Wendy how to fly.  He tells her that in order for her to fly, she has to think sweet thoughts.  Wendy does as she is instructed, and soon she is flying around the room.  I couldn’t help but think how true this is.  If we think positive thoughts we will fly.  Now I am not saying that we will fly around the room like Peter and Wendy did, but we will feel lighter, happier, and more at peace.  Our spirits will soar.  The negative things that happen to us everyday will not have as much power over us.  In some ways, we will fly above them.  

So, let’s make a pact today.  We will do our best to have a positive attitude everyday.  We will begin our day with a grateful heart and believe that this is going to be a wonderful day.  It really can be!  We just have to look for positive things throughout the day.  Once we start finding them, we will start seeing them everywhere.  I know if we can do this, we will soar through the day and soon we will be flying with our friends, and we will begin to see a change in the world.  Having a positive attitude will bring us peace, and PEACE MATTERS.    

~Dan~

Letting Go

As time has gone by, we have found ourselves getting busier and busier in our lives.  There are so many distractions in life.  We have our jobs, our families, the Internet, our phones, our friends, programs in which to participate, and events to attend.   We cannot go anywhere or do anything without something demanding our attention and urging us to take on another responsibility.  Just like many of us are collectors of things, we have become collectors of obligations and responsibilities.  Many of our responsibilities are unavoidable, and they are things that we should focus on and take care of, but when we become more and more overwhelmed by other commitments that are not necessary, our lives become too much to handle.  Many of us have mistakenly said, “I thrive on pressure, or the more I have to do the more I get done.”  We have convinced ourselves that these statements are true, so we keep going.  

Just as we think that the things we own define us we think that the obligations and responsibilities in our lives define us too.  We think that we are doing okay with all the obligations we have in life, but if most of us would be honest with ourselves, the weight of these obligations are pulling us down.  They are stressing us out and making it impossible to keep up.  We find ourselves not making enough time for ourselves, our families, and most of all God.  We spend so much of our lives trying to keep up that we do not realize how far we are falling behind.  As I have said before, God wants us to live the best lives possible.  Life is a precious gift, which most of us are throwing away on things that are not important or are not bringing us peace.  God wants peace for our lives, and we cannot be at peace if we are worn out at the end of the day because of all the activities we have participated in or stressed out from all the obligations we have had.  

What we are trying to do is fill a hole in our lives.  We all know that something is missing from our lives, and we try to fill it with things, people, and responsibilities.  What we all need is peace, and we cannot get peace by collecting responsibilities.  In order to have peace, we have to let go of the things in life that are weighing us down, stressing us out, and making us feel bad.  The more things and responsibilities we have in our lives, the harder it is to let go.  We have to prioritize and decide which things are not bringing peace to our lives and which things we can live without.  It is not easy to let go of obligations, and no one can really tell us which obligations to let go of first.  It is different for everyone.  

The best solution to the problem is to pray and ask God what we need to let go of.  He can and will guide us in making the right decision.  When we do finally begin to let go of the obligations in our lives that are not necessary, we will find ourselves having more time.  We need to fill that time by communicating with God and having a relationship with Him.  Even that really doesn’t take much of our time.  God is everywhere, so we can talk to Him wherever we are.  He is always there to listen to us, and we do not have to make an appointment to see Him.  He will guide us in what we need to do and help us decide which obligations to let go of to improve our lives.  

The bottom line is we have to reduce the stress in our lives.  We have to reduce the number of responsibilities and obligations we have taken on.  We have to give ourselves more time to talk to God and have a meaningful relationship with Him.  We have to slow down and enjoy life more.  When we do all of these things, the peace that God has for our lives will begin to find us.  We will feel so much better that we will wonder why we hadn’t done it sooner.  It will be difficult in the beginning, so we have to start slowly and take it day by day.  We have to be wise and we have to let God guide us in the things we need to let go of.  However, once we do, our lives will be so much better. We will have more energy, we will have less stress, and we will have more time for ourselves and the people we love, and we will have more time for God.  With God, all things are possible, so let’s let go and start living a new life full of hope, peace, and a relationship with God.  It will change everything, and it will lead us to a newfound peace, and PEACE MATTERS.  

~Dan~ 

I appreciate all of the comments that you leave.  I cannot not reply directly to you through an email, but I always try to reply to your comment in the comment section of each post.  Please feel free to come back to read my reply.  Also if you would like to follow me on Facebook you can do so by searching for me by my name, Dan Weaver.  

Don't Muddy the Waters

Jeff and I recently return from a cruise with my family.  We left from New Orleans, Louisiana and traveled down the Mississippi River to the Gulf of Mexico and then on to Honduras and back again.  Jeff and I had never been on a cruise before, so we really did not know what to expect.  As we left New Orleans, my brother, Andrew, drew the water to my attention.  He commented on how dirty the water was and showed me all the debris that had washed up on the land and had accumulated around the ships that were docked.  As we travelled down the river and reached the Gulf of Mexico, I could not help but notice the color of the water changing.  It seemed that the further we got from home, the clearer the water became.  There were places where the water was so clear that it I could literally see the bottom of the ocean.

We had a very nice trip and all that I really thought of when we were away was being on the ship and what we were going to be doing on that particular day.  As we made our return to New Orleans, we once again had to travel on the Mississippi River.  We entered the river during the night. As I lie in bed, I thought about returning home and I began to get stressed.  It was not that I did not want to go home, but I started thinking about all of the things I needed to do.  I started thinking about school starting, what I needed to accomplish at home, and I even started thinking about the past.  

I realized that I was not going to be able to sleep, so I got up and went out on one of the decks of the ship.  As I was standing there, I was still feeling a little stressed and I walked toward the edge of the ship and looked down at the water.  The water was once again muddy.  Then I felt like God asked me a question.  He said, “What was the water like when you were far away from home and did not spend time thinking about all the things you needed to do when you returned home?”  I answered, “It was clear and blue.”  Then God asked, “What is the water like now that you are getting closer to home and thinking about all of the things you need to do and remembering the past?”  I answered, “It is muddy.”  Then God said, “Well, don’t muddy the waters.”  Then it hit me.  I was muddying the waters.  I was thinking about things that really didn’t matter anymore in reference to the past, and I was worrying about things that had not even happened yet and that God had control over anyway.  So, in that moment, I decided to relax and go back to bed and sleep which I did.  

Thinking about those muddy waters has made me realize that many times we do muddy our own waters.  We fill our minds with the negative things in life.  We focus on the bad, and we dwell on the bad events of the past.  God wants us to live our lives in clear blue waters where we do not worry about anything.  He wants us to not worry about the past, the present, or even the future.  He wants us to realize that He has everything under control and that He will lead us in the right direction if only we will listen to Him.  We can all leave the muddy waters of our lives behind us, and we can all sail through clear blue waters with God’s help.  We can choose to focus on the positive instead of the negative, and we can choose to trust God and allow Him to guide our steps and illuminate our path.  He wants to do that for all of us.  It is not that the water will not be choppy sometimes, and it is not that the water may not become cloudy, but God can lead us over the choppy waters and lead us through the cloudy waters if we only trust him.  God wants all of us to live the best life possible and God wants all of us to experience the calmness of the clear blue waters in our lives.  He wants us to focus on the positive and forget the negative.  He wants us to stop worrying and start trusting Him more and more.  

We can all do this, but it will take practice.  God will help us when we spend time talking to Him and listening for all the positive things He whispers into our ears everyday.  A positive attitude and outlook on life will lead all of us to peace and PEACE MATTERS.    

~Dan~

P.S.  I appreciate all of the comments that you leave.  I cannot not reply directly to you through an email, but I always try to reply to your comment in the comment section of each post.  Please feel free to come back to read my reply.  Also if you would like to follow me on Facebook you can do so by searching for me by my name, Dan Weaver.  

Negative outlook on life.

Positive outlook on life.  

The Fire

In this life at one time or another we all face the fire.  Many times the fire we face is not an actual fire, but it is the problems and the dangers that this life often presents.  When we face the fire, we are filled with fear.  We struggle to make sense of why we are enduring such difficult times, and we worry that we will not make it out alive.  

When I think of facing the fire, I am reminded of the story in the Bible of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  These three men were thrown into a fiery furnace.  The fire in the furnace was so hot that the guards who threw them into the fire died from the heat.  There was a group of people watching these events unfold, and when they looked into the furnace, they did not see three people in the furnace—they saw four.  The fourth person in the furnace was Jesus.  He was there to protect the three men and keep them safe.  Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego emerged from that furnace unscathed; the fourth man in the furnace had indeed kept them safe from the flames.   

This story should serve as a reminder that God is always with us.  When we face the fires of this life, we do not face them alone.  We may feel as if we are alone, but we are not.  God is always with us, and He never leaves our side.  When I look back on my own life and I think about the fires that I have faced, I realize that God had always been with me keeping me safe.  There were many times when I did not feel His presence, but I know now that He was there.  He was by my side comforting me and leading me to safety.  

The most important thing for all of us to remember is that God is always with us.  I know that I say that a lot, but that is how important it is for us to remember.  This life can be very overwhelming and scary, and so many of us feel as if we are facing it alone.  There are many people in this world who really have no one they can depend on.  They feel like they are living their lives in complete isolation.  There are many times in our own lives that we feel we have no one to depend on.  We find ourselves alone and feel as if we have no one to reach out to and ask for help, but we are never alone.  

When everyone has seemingly given up on us, God is always with us.  He has been with us since the moment we entered this world, and He will remain by our side until the end of our time on this earth.  God is not a respecter of persons. He loves all of us.  He loves you, and He loves me.  He loves the good and He loves the bad.  There is no one on this earth who has travelled too far down the wrong path that God is not with them.  God can change all of our lives.   He can change who we think may be the worst person in the world.  He can change an evil person into a good person.  He can change a hateful person into a loving person.  He can change a bitter person into a grateful person.  There is no limit to what God can do for all of us.  That is why it is so important for us to allow God to do His job and to work in our lives and in the lives of others.  The fires of this life touch all of us.  No one is immune to the heat that life can bring.  However, we do have the perfect protector with us at all times.  We have God, and He can extinguish the fire and protect us from its flames.  

So, if you are facing a fire in your life and you feel as if you have no one you can reach out to, reach out to God.  He is right there by your side waiting for you to ask for help.  You do not have to ask for help in an elaborate or fancy way.  All you have to do is say, “Help me.”  He very well may be waiting on you to cry out to Him.  He is protecting you even when you do not know it, but He can do so much more for you if you just reach out to Him.  Please hear this—you are not alone.  You have not gone too far to come back to God.  God will never give up on you.  I know this from my own life, and once you cry out to God and ask Him for His help, He will change your life and you will once again begin to see the good that this world has to offer.  

There still is good in this world.  We are so inundated with the bad that we forget that there is still good.  We hear and focus on the bad more often than we do the good.  God wants us to see the good and focus on the joys of this life instead of the sorrows.  We can do that when we allow God to walk with us and save us from the fire.  We can do that when we allow God to help us see the good instead of the bad.  Leaning on God during the difficult times will help to make this life more bearable.  Allowing God to come to our rescue will build our faith and help us to know that we are not alone.  Emerging from the fire unscathed will give us hope and it will give those who witness our escape hope.  The hope we have and the hope we share will turn into peace and PEACE MATTERS.    

~Dan~

Lean on God

Life on this earth can be very difficult.  We all have struggles and trials to overcome.  It is impossible to find someone who has a perfect life and does not have daily struggles.  Our struggles may be different, but the feelings we have while facing them are the same.  We feel hopeless, out of control, stressed, and overwhelmed. Often we think that there is no way out, and the problems of this world begin to consume us until they are all we think about.  God does not want that for any of us.  He knows that we are going to encounter struggles, but He wants to guide us through them.  He says all we have to do is cry out to Him, and He will be there for us.  So, why don’t we do that?  

Many times, we will pray when we encounter a struggle, but often we stop there.  Prayer is a very important part of dealing with a struggle, but we need to do more.  We have to lean on God.  We have to surrender everything to Him and let Him guide us out of our struggles.  We all know people who do not depend on God.  The reason behind their independence is not that important, but they go through life not believing in anything and feeling like they are alone.  When we do not lean on God and let Him guide every aspect of our lives, it is very much like trying to drive a car that has no gasoline or paying bills from an account that has no money in it.  When we try to live our lives without God’s guidance, we are much like the car with no gas or the account with no money.  We are empty and bankrupt.  No one can live the life that they are intended to live without the guidance of God.  From an outside glance, it may look like they are doing fine.  They may have a good job, a beautiful family, a spacious house, and lots of friends, but they do not have true peace.  None of us can have true peace without God’s guidance. Once we have experienced God’s perfect peace in our lives and in our hearts, we will never again want to live without it.  

Living life when everything is good can be difficult enough, but living life when we are struggling is considerably more difficult.  We have to lean on God in all things, but particularly when we are in the valleys of life.  We often times think that God does not have time for us and that He is too busy to worry about us, but God has enough love and compassion for each of us.  God is omnipresent and omnipotent, and He can provide all of our needs.  We just have to trust Him, have faith that He can help us, and let Him guide our path.  

I cannot express to you enough how much God wants us to lean on Him.  He knows that this is the only way for us to have peace, and of course peace is the ultimate goal for everyone as we live life on earth.  We do not have to feel hopeless and overwhelmed because He is always there.  He will guide our steps, and He will hear our prayers if we just reach out to Him.  God will always give us what we need.  It may not look like what we want it to look like sometimes, but God knows what is best for us, and we have to trust Him.

So, the bottom line is this; every single one of us needs God in our lives.  Without Him we cannot adequately face the struggles of life.  We have to lean on God and let Him carry us through our trials and lead us to the place we need to be.  We have to have faith in Him and trust that He knows what He is doing.  We have to seek Him out and cry out to Him for help.  He will help us.  He wants to help us all.  He wants us to have the best life possible, and we can all have that life filled with peace if we just lean on Him.  Leaning on God will bring us peace and it will strengthen our faith.  So, let’s all start leaning on God more and more and watch what He does in our lives.  I guarantee this decision will lead you to a newfound peace and PEACE MATTERS.

~Dan~

The Key

As many of you know, Jeff and I recently went on a cruise with my family.  When I think back on the cruise, my mind is filled with many good memories of spending time with our family and relaxing, but I am also filled with memories of some very important lessons that God taught me while I was on the cruise.  This is a perfect example of how God can use everyday experiences to teach us lessons that will remain with us for the rest of our days.  It is in these common, everyday experiences that we can draw strength and learn the lessons that God wants us to learn.  I have already written about some of the lessons that God taught me while I was on the cruise, and today’s writing is yet another lesson that God brought to my mind while floating in the middle of the ocean.  

As some of you may know, I am an avid runner.  I enjoy it, it helps me stay in shape, and it gives my mind a chance to rejuvenate and focus more.  There was an exercise room on the ship that I would go to almost every day.  I would run on a treadmill and then come back to our room.  Many days, I went to the exercise room by myself, and on one such day I was walking back to our room. As I entered the hall that our room was in, I was suddenly struck by how the hall looked.  It was one of the longest and straightest halls that I think I had ever seen.  I could literally see from one end to the other without having to strain my eyes.  There were hundreds of doors on either side of the hall.  All the doors looked the same.  For as far as I could see, all I saw were doors.  

As I was walking down the hall, I was reminded of how this hall was a lot like our lives.  We are all walking down a path in our lives. There are times that we can look far into the distance and see how our lives may unfold, but our lives are just like the hall on that cruise ship. There are many doors and opportunities on either side.  Often when we think about all the doors and opportunities that we encounter in this life, we can become overwhelmed and stressed.  It is difficult for us to know which door to enter, and we are often scared to open a door when we are no sure of what lies behind it.  As I was walking down the hall of that cruise ship, I began to get a little overwhelmed and nervous for a moment.  I started asking myself questions like, “What if I cannot find my room?” “Am I even on the right deck?”  “What if I get lost and no one is able to find me?”  I then remembered that in my pocket was the key to our room.  I knew that I could indeed find our room and that when I slipped the key in the door, it would open and I would enter the correct cabin.  

I then realized that we have all been given a key to unlock the correct doors that we encounter in our lives.  We do not keep this key in our pocket, but we keep it in our hearts.  This key was placed in our hearts before we were even born, and we have carried it with us for years before we ever had to use it.  Sometimes in life we do encounter the wrong door and sometimes we do open it, but we know in our hearts that it is the wrong door and the wrong direction to take.  Sometimes it takes us a long time to realize that it was the wrong door, but when we look back on our lives, we realize that we knew in our hearts all along that it was the wrong door.  We just did not listen to that quiet still voice that is within all of us.  

God knows that we will encounter many doors and opportunities in this life.  He places some of the doors in our path, and some of the doors He does not. We have to be able to discern which doors are meant for us.  This can be a very scary and overwhelming process if we are not listening to God and letting Him lead us.  However, if we listen to God, get His advice on every door we encounter, and use the key that He has placed in all of our hearts, we will open the correct doors which will lead us to many blessings and happiness like we have never known before.  

This is why it is so important for all of us to have a personal relationship with God.  This is why it is so important for all of us to listen to His voice as we travel through our lives.  We can spend many years banging on the wrong doors only realizing after we enter that it was the wrong door to take.  Entering the wrong door will cause us to lose hope, it will cause our faith to waiver, and it will cause us to become disillusioned with life.  

The good news is that God can rescue us when we enter the wrong door.  He can pull us out of the room, calm our fears, and set us back on the right path when we make the wrong choice.  When we do choose the wrong door and God does rescue us, we learn valuable lessons that will help us when we encounter doors in the future.  When we do encounter more doors, we will be more careful and we will seek out God’s wisdom and make sure that it is the right door for us before we enter it.  

So, if you are standing at a door in your life right now and are unsure if you should walk through it, talk to God.  Let Him guide your thoughts and illuminate your path.  Use the key that He has placed in your heart.  If this is the right door for you, God will tell you to open it and if it isn’t, God will help you to keep it closed.  If you have opened the wrong door and you are scared and hopeless, cry out to God.  He is right there with you.  He will take your hand and lead you back to the right path and set you on a course of peace.  Making the right choices in life can be very difficult.  Knowing which door to take can be overwhelming, but you have it within yourself to choose the correct door if you just allow God to lead the way.  

If you are knocking on a door right now that will not open, turn and walk away.  That is not the door for you.  God wants all of us to live the best lives that we can live.  He wants all of us to feel the peace and hope that only He can offer, and He can do this by helping us choose the right doors to enter and by helping us choose which doors to walk past.  Listen to God everyday.  He is the positive voice that you hear.  His voice is the one that brings you peace.  God will always lead us in the right direction if we just listen.  Following God will bring us peace and as we all know, PEACE MATTERS.  

~Dan~

Blessings in Disguise

Sometimes even when we are walking along the path that God has planned for our lives, bad things happen. Sometimes what we perceive to be horrible events occur, and we do not understand why they are happening. Some of these events are so difficult to understand that we feel like we must have gotten off of the path at some point and we are being punished or we have taken a wrong turn. We struggle with answers and often we begin to get angry with God and even lose faith that we were ever hearing from Him in the first place. It is sometimes only after time has gone by, in some cases years, that we realize that this event that brought us so much pain was actually part of God’s plan for our lives and it has put us in the position to do what He has always intended for us to do with our lives. Many times what appear to be derailments in our lives’ plans are actually God taking us in a new, better direction. Many times something that we perceive to be the worst thing that could possibly happen to us turns out to be what we really needed all along. 

Many of us have lost a job, which has led us to a better opportunity, or we have gone through a terrible breakup only to meet the person that God has always intended for us to be with all along. Losing the previous relationship has put us in the position to meet the person that will help us complete the things that God has called us to do. Many times these seemingly horrific experiences will become some of our biggest blessings in life. It may seem impossible, especially while we are going through the difficult time, but there very well may come a time when we will actually be thankful for the terrible event that led us to our newfound discovery. 

It is very difficult to believe that these painful events can be part of God’s plan, but that is because we cannot see what the outcome will be. God knows how everything is going to work out in the end, and He knows what we need in our lives better than we do. Sometimes He has to lead us through a difficult time to get us in the position to achieve what He has always had planned for our lives. Having peace over these painful events and keeping our faith during the struggles requires us to have constant communication with God. When we are talking to God and being obedient to His voice, we will not question when the difficult things happen as much as we would if we were not communicating with God and listening to His voice. It is very important for our faith in God to be strong, but it is especially important to have faith when we are going through a difficult time. We have to trust that He has everything under control and that He truly has a plan. We have to have faith that God has a plan for our lives and that His plan is perfect, even when we do not understand the direction that He is taking us. 

God has the uncanny ability to turn something bad into something wonderful. We have all said that from time to time in our lives, but we often forget it when we are going through a painful time. It is easy to forget that, because all we can see is how bad the situation is. If we could see things through God’s eyes, we would never worry about anything because we would understand that everything is working toward our good. 

However, we do not have God’s eyes, so we have to trust Him and surrender everything to Him. That is very difficult to do, but if we can do that we will have peace over every single situation that we experience, no matter how difficult. Even saying that seems impossible, but we need to remember that all things are possible through God. He is continually working in our lives even when we do not know it, and He is working everything out for us. What He has planned for our lives is far better than anything we could ever imagine so we have to trust Him and understand that His plan is perfect. 

So, if you are going through a painful, life changing, situation right now, do not lose your faith. Continue to cling to God and let Him continue to guide your path. It is very possible that He is taking you through this difficult time only to lead you to the best part of your life. It is very possible that you have to go through this painful situation to be able to recognize a great work that God has planned for you. Every situation that we go through, the good and the bad, will help us to grow. It will help us to become the people we need to become to do the work that God has planned for us. I know it is easy to see that and to understand that when we are not going through the valley, but it is far more important to remember that when we are in the valley. We just have to believe that God has everything under control and that He has a plan. There may be times when it feels like He does not have a plan, but trust me, He does. 

So, hold on to your faith, keep talking to God, keep listening to His voice, and keep being obedient. Everything will work out and everything will get better. Brighter, happier days are on the horizon. All you have to do is take God’s hand and let Him lead you to them. Never ever forget that God is in control and that He has a wonderful life mapped out for you. All you have to do is have faith and follow Him. He will lead you to the mountaintop, and when you get there you will be that much more thankful for all the valleys that you had to walk through. The valleys are what make us the people we are, and they cause us to be strong, have faith, and cling to God, and they often will be what we need to restore our peace, and as we all know, PEACE MATTERS.  

~Dan~